#=_= normal problem just always there on the back burner

[paunchsalazar]

I think I like reading because all it demands of me is time and attention… which isn’t such a small thing but it doesn’t take much effort or skill and all the other things I consider require that first phase of floundering or researching

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

ROLES REVERSED.

tangerine x fem!reader — fluff/ comfort

summary. as the eldest daughter, you’re used to taking care of others. tangerine notices, and wants to be the one to care of you.

requested by @sdddoobydoobydoo here <3

word count. 1186

warnings. couple blood mentions. no established relationship

As the eldest daughter, you're naturally gifted with traits that stem from your role as the second parent: the ability to help and care and nurture and understand and peacekeep in ways most will never.

You appreciated your broad span of empathy, loving how easily and seamlessly you could help others. But it was tiring, and yet, it all you've ever known.

It was normal for you to sit on the back burner when it came to getting care, always being the one to give and never receive. It was why Tangerine took your interest more than any other guy before.

It was like all he wanted was to tend to you, love and care for you - do things for you. Something about him was so unlike the other men in your life; they'd let you exhaust yourself for them, let you work yourself silly, but that was not Tangerine. That's not the man he is.

He noticed how you seemingly always knew what to do, all this infinite wisdom and knowledge swirling inside your poor, tired mind. Anytime he was snappy, you'd assume he was hungry - heading into the kitchen to whip something up for him, or if you were public, always offering to buy him lunch. Anytime he stopped past yours, all battered and bruised, you'd fetch things from around your house to patch him up - wanting to mend him as fast as possible. Anytime he had that distant look in his eyes, you'd always sit him down - suggesting that he talk his problems over with you.

You always seemed to know what he needed - what anyone needed. And while he appreciated your simple, loving and, albeit, persistent gestures, he knew you needed the same treatment. Maybe even, more so.

He wanted to give you that care you give to everyone else, though he didn't want to step over the romance line. Well not yet, anyway.

Tangerine was over yours for the evening, the casual hangout designed for dinner. He had previously made you promise to keep it small, to not go overboard with the food. Though, when you started cooking the meals, you could not seem to stop - all the prior dishes making you question if it would be something he even liked at all. So, in your mind, preparing four different meals to choose from would be a safe bet.

"Sit down, would'ya? Stop faffing," Tangerine calls out to you in the kitchen, his arse parked on a dining seat you had previously directed him to.

"I'll be five minutes, ten max— shit... think we're looking at fifteen."

"You gonna let me help you?" he questions, getting ansty from his unhelpful sitting. He wanted you to let him help. "Give me something to do."

"Got it all covered," you call out, poking your head through the door to see him. You were frazzled, and you took on more than you could handle.

His head tilts softly, a faint tut of his mouth letting you know he didn't buy your lies. "Oh yeah?" he entertains your fib, eyes playful. "What was that all that swearing for then?"

You look down at your bleeding finger and subtly move to hide it - putting it out of Tan's view. "Dropped my teatowel," you shrug. "Pasta is almost cooked— so uh, that's good. Okay, then. Just pick at the bread there. Will be done soon."

You head over to one of your cupboards and search for something to stop the bleeding, a plaster hopefully. But all you can find is a lonely, crumpled-up one in the crack —all your others going to Tangerine's cuts and scrapes— and you sigh. Picking it up, you attempt to unwrap it, but your bloodied finger makes you lose your grip.

"You alright?" Tangerine asks, his stealth-like walk peeking up on you from behind. "What you doing?"

"Yeah," you hum, looking at him over your shoulder. "Just waiting for this water to boil," you partially lie, nodding to the pot on the stovetop.

"You're a shit liar," he scoffs in his usual way, walking to get closer to you. "What have you done?" he asks, voice reaching a pitch that can only indicate worry, his eyes glued to your finger.

"It's just a cut. It's fine— it'll stop in a minute," you deflect, acting casual as you fiddle with the wrapper, still trying to open it.

He shakes his head and inhales harshly, reaching for the plaster in your hand.

You protest, tightening your grip. "It's alright, I got it."

He shakes his head again, clearly displeased. He loosely holds under your hand, guiding you towards the sink, where he directs it under the water - trying to stop the bleeding quicker.

"Seriously, it's okay. I'll put—"

"Just," he interrupts, tone pointed, though it holds no malice. "Let me help you for chrissake."

You close your mouth with a snap, his comment halting any further dismissals.

He holds your finger under the warm, flowing tap, watching the water turn slowly from a soft orange and back to clear. He's quiet, silently taking care of you in the ways he's almost longed for. The moment when you finally allow his help - all of it feeling like a small step forward.

He reaches for a piece of kitchen paper and wraps it around your finger, drying it with his gaze focused down.

"Why won't you let me help you?" he asks quietly, his question cutting through the comfortable silence. It sounded like it was weighing heavy on his mind.

"What do you mean?" you question, unsure what he meant.

He glances up to look at you, head cocking to the side. "Come on," he chuckles faintly. "You know what I mean."

"I do let you help."

He's amused, or so you think. He was too hard to read. "Hardly… I want to do things for you. I want to help you. Why won't you let me?"

You pull your hand away and hold the paper compress by yourself - feeling embarrassed from his mild ridicule. "I always have it covered, that's all," you shrug. "I don't need help."

He could tell you were shutting yourself off, though he's adamant not to let that happen. "I ain't gonna disappoint you, you know that?" he says, words firm, but they were filled with something far softer: unexpressed, repressed love. "You look after everyone else... I want to look after you."

A soft frown-like smile lines your lips, and you finally look up to meet his eyes. He really meant it.

"Just give me a piece of cucumber to cut or a towel to fold— something," he attempts a joke - trying to lighten the mood. "Just let me be useful to you, yeah? Let me in."

You nod, even more progress.

"Good," he nods back, a faint grin spreading across his face. He reaches for the plaster, opening it as if it were nothing and grabs your hand - carefully holding your finger. "Now let's cover this fucker up before it gets all over your pretty top, hm?"

so independent reader coded

[deathworlders-of-e24]

Jane, Medical Technician

Part 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay, I get you’re the head of the science department here, but your rehab falls under my supervision you know,” Jane said, a little exhausted. She couldn’t believe it had only taken a few weeks for someone on the crew to get seriously injured, although it was completely believable that it was one of her fellow humans.

“I know, I know,” Liz said, waving her new augmented arm. “I thought I could speed it up if I overclocked the neural activity algorithm, but that didn’t work, it just gave me headaches.”

“This isn’t something you can speed up Collins, you can’t just skip parts of your recovery because they’re inconvenient.” Jane sighed.

“Liz, you lost a huge part of yourself, a very necessary part. And you lost it in probably the most traumatic way I can even imagine. You’ve got to let your body and mind heal at their own pace, alright?”

“Fine, okay, alright,” Liz said. “You’re right, I know that, I just want to go back to normal, not adjust to a new normal.” She leaned her head back against the cushioned chair.

“It’s like, part of my nature, to fix problems, improve things, see how they tick,” Liz said. “I clearly have a problem that I can’t solve and my brain won’t let me back burner it ‘till I have something else to focus on.” She brought her head back up.

“Let’s talk about something else! Give me something, anything, so long as it keeps my brain busy.”

Jane just stared at her a moment, thinking. It wasn’t exactly conventional therapy, but neither of their lives were considered conventional these days. What the hell?

“Like what?” She asked.

“Like I heard you pulled a tracheotomy in the mess hall the other day. Used a steak knife and a bendy straw of all things. You could ask me to make you a whole first aid kid with all the latest tech and it’d fit on your belt, I swear. Actually don’t even ask, I’m already doing it,” Liz stopped to breathe, “it’ll be great for emergency surgeries.”

“Well hopefully we won’t have any more emergency surgeries, but if you’re serious and you think it’ll help, by all means, build me something cool.” Jane smiled.

Jane liked Elizabeth, or Liz as she wanted to be called, and as her only Human patient so far, she wanted to be accommodating. Jane had asked if Doctor Huhuma had wanted to run the sessions herself, but Huhuma thought that another human would be better for the patient to speak with. They’d also heard about how interested Liz Collins was in aliens biology and figured she’d be less distracted this way.

She’d lose it if I told her I have lunch with all the Indoprime on board some days, Jane thought, a little smugly.

As if on cue, the door opened and Doctor Huhuma walked in, lab coat on as always, striped tail swishing as she walked to her office. She waved politely as she passed, and Jane waved back smiling.

“Doctor.”

“Doctor.”

Jane looked back to Liz Collins, who as she figured, was staring, but at her and not the alien monkey woman. And she was grinning.

“Oh yeah, this is a problem I can work with,” Liz said.

“What do you mean?”

“Dilated pupils, mirroring, tensing in the shoulders, the way you leaned ever so slightly towards her as she passed by, you’re blushing so hard as I say this, are you alright?” Liz was trying so hard to keep from laughing. “I’m a trained biologist too hon, and you got some awesome brain chemistry going on right now, don’t you?”

“Okay, times up for today, same time in two days right?” Jane said hurriedly, standing up from her chair.

“Look look look, I’m not gonna say anything alright? And this could be part of my therapy, keeping my mind off the arm while the two get acquainted,” Liz said in a hushed tone, standing as well.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, you have no idea what you’re saying, and your mandated therapy hour… still has… 45 minutes. Damnit.” Jane slapped her hands against her thighs. “Okay, but this is strictly therapy, you start getting weird on me and I’m withholding drugs in the future.”

“Hahaha! YES!“ Liz said, cackling.

“Here,” Jane said, handing her a small rubber ball. “Stress toy, but we are going to use it rehab your hand. Squeeze while we talk.”

Liz put the ball in her new bionic hand and tried squeezing. The hand whirred and and twitched, but didn’t really do more than cup its fingers and hold the stress toy.

“Come on, come on, tell me what’s going on here in this daytime soap you call a med bay,” Liz said, staring at her hand and focusing.

“Nothing really. She’s technically my boss, the most that goes on in here is we have lunch together.”

“Scandalous,” Liz said sarcastically.

“I don’t know what to tell you, nothing is happening between me and Doctor Huhuma.”

“But you want something to happen, right?”

Jane didn’t say anything… but she did blush.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The session continued in that manner for the remaining time, and when Liz left med bay she turned back at the door.

“Okay, call me later, we’ll get Coco in on this too, we’ll get you a date by the weekend.” She left laughing.

The science nerd and her talking tree associate were about as useful as those teen romance novels her cousin was always reading.

Did she want something to happen with the good doctor? Dating a coworker, her boss no less, had to be a terrible idea, right? Of course it was, and that was if she even liked her, which of course she couldn’t.

Jane forced the thought to the back of her mind. She had work to do, a paper to write on the cellular structure of the Zilgrat people and their similarities to Earth ferrets. Much like Huhuma’s people the Indoprime, the Zilgrats were so similar to the Terran species that it was believed by some that they might have a common genetic ancestry.

There was a rapidly growing field of thought back on Earth that many alien species had come to the planet in the infant years of their space exploration, like the Galley, and had left behind objects or hybrids, or some other mark of their presence, hence why so many species seemed to have the same qualities as the Earthling varieties. Personally, Jane was more a fan of evolutionary truths, the idea that certain branches of evolution are more adaptable across the universe, like certain species of birds on Earth that keep ‘reevolving’ despite going extinct, or that every form of life eventually turns into crabs.

Just as the thought crossed her mind, Jane heard the med bay door open. She turned, and saw the Scrib man, Ensign Mirn, standing there with his hands clasped together.

“Hello, Doctor,” he said, bowing his head. “I’m here for my check up? Doctor Huhuma said I’d need to be treated for possible infections or complications if any arose.”

“Right, of course. Hop up on the table.”

Mirn bowed again, then crossed the room and climbed up on the exam table. He was about Jane’s height, give or take 5’4, which was normal for the Scrib. While they resembled humans physically, the whole race was on average much smaller than the Earthlings, with light pink skin and almost zero body hair to speak of.

“Are you feeling alright? Any fever or anything?” Jane asked.

“Not really, perhaps my throat is a bit sore, but I wanted someone to examine me just to be safe. I understand there was a used drinking tool inserted into my trachea?”

“Yeah, sorry about that, it’s all I had at the time.”

“Don’t misunderstand Doctor, you are not to blame. You saved my life, something an entire room of officers failed to accomplish. To the Scrib, to perpetuate life is of the highest priority, so I hold you only in the highest regard.”

“Oh,” Jane said, a little surprised, “well thank you Mirn. I was really just doing my job, you know.”

“That is irrelevant, Doctor. On Scribbin, medical professionals are something akin to religious officials. To the Scrib on board the Noah, and this is especially true of myself, it is a matter of course that the Medical Staff are to be shown the highest order of respect and admiration.”

“That’s actually a nice change of pace, Mirn. On Earth, doctors are usually the ones overworked and underpaid.”

Mirn looked aghast.

“Why would such a thing be? Are you not keeping your people healthy?”

“No, it’s just… humans have a tendency to be suspicious of things they don’t really understand, especially other humans who are probably smarter than them. Some bad things happened in our past, so it’s understandable people are still skeptic.” Jane patted him on the shoulder. “We’re getting better though. Science has come a long way back home, so people are relaxing a little bit more these days.”

“That is… most welcome to hear,” Mirn said.

“Okay, open wide and say ‘ahh’ for me.”

Mirn opened his mouth and tilted his head back, making the sound. The inside of his mouth was reddish, same as a human’s.

“Hmm. Your throat looks a little inflamed. Probably a small infection. I’m gonna prescribe you a broad range antibiotic to be on the safe side, okay?”

“Thank you, Doctor Shaw.”

Jane tapped a few keys in her data pad. She went to the medicine locker up and entered her code, pulling the pills. She handed them to Mirn.

“You know the drill right? Follow the directions on the bottle, and you have to take all of them, even if you’re feeling fine towards the end.”

“Of course, Doctor. Thank you.”

Mirn stood up and headed for the door, but stopped when he was halfway out into the hall.

“Doctor Shaw, if I might ask you something?”

“Something else bothering you?” Jane asked.

“No, no, nothing like that. I wanted to ask something of the Medical Staff, if I may?” Mirn said, bowing again.

“Sure, but what is it?”

“Well, we Scrib have a perpetual reservation time for the GRID simulator. It allows us to recreate a ceremonial space from our home planet, something I believe humans would call a… church service? We give thanks to the Spirit Lord, the bringer of life and medicine, and we would be most honored if the other doctors and yourself could attend it with us. There would be food and drink there, a way for us to repay you for what you have done for us.”

“Well that’s sounds very interesting Mirn, I’ll bring it up to Doctor Huhuma later and I’ll send you a message on your comm-link.”

“Thank you, Doctor Shaw. We would be very pleased for you to attend. I’ll take my leave now, let you return to work.”

Mirn bowed again and stepped out into the hall, letting the door hiss shut behind him.

A race of intelligent people who worship doctors, Jane thought. How about that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Huhuma had agreed, fairly easily, saying it’d be fun seeing another culture on the ship. The nurses had declined, however, saying they were either too busy or didn’t have much interest, which Mirn had said was perfectly alright. The Scrib had no desire to distract the Med Bay staff if they were otherwise occupied. Jane had said she’d go as well, jokingly saying that if for nothing else that she’d feel awkward if she didn’t at that point. When asked what was the dress code for such an occasion, Mirn had said that their medical uniforms were more than enough. Jane had still done up her make-up at least a bit, and ran a brush through her dark hair before giving up and putting it back up in a bun.

Jane stood outside the simulator, clicking on and off a data pad with Scrib customs loaded on it, when Doctor Huhuma stepped off the lift. As usual, she was in her green medical uniform with her lab coat over it, her hair down around her face in a shaggy pixie cut look. Still no shoes. Jane had asked her before, and the doctor had looked at her confused. ‘Why would I wear those things? How would I walk that way?’ she’d replied, laughing that deep hearty laugh. The only thing that was different was her uniform was open, showing a simple woven shirt underneath, showing off a more casual look, Jane guessed.

She must’ve been staring because Huhuma laughed.

“Something the matter, Jane?”

“Nope, no, not at all,” she stammered.

Smooth.

Jane composed herself, or tried to anyway, and they knocked on the door. It opened to show Mirn, smiling, wearing what looked like a sort of toga clasped at his shoulder and tied at the waist with a belt. He was also not wearing shoes.

“Doctors, you honor us with your presence! Please come in, join us, sit anywhere you please,” he said. He pushed them into the room, which had been simulated to look like a Scribbin temple chamber. A wall of stained glass, glowing with dim golden light, behind a tall statue of a humanoid man with a staff wearing a flowing robe, holding a basket full of herbs and other plants. The statue was circled with low tables covered in platters of food and goblets, surrounded by cushions and rugs taken up by the other 3 Scrib. They stood up and bowed to the doctors as well.

“Doctors, this is Lark, she’s in the communications division with myself, and these are Karu and Meli, they work on the engineering deck with the other Human, Thomas.”

“It’s lovely to meet you all,” Huhuma said, bowing her head slightly.

“Yeah, hi everyone,” Jane said, a little sheepishly.

“Now that you are here, we can begin. Sit, sit,” said Mirn, motioning them to the bigger of the cushions. Jane looked to Huhuma, then sat down. Huhuma sat to her left, striped tail swishing.

“Is there anything we need to do, or…?” Jane let the question hang.

“No, no, all you need to do is eat and drink your fill once the food is blessed. The two of you saved my life, therefore you are my guests here,” Mirn said, sitting across from them.

Jane watched as the 4 Scrib held hands and closed their eyes. Mirn began to chant softly, which was taken up by the others a beat later. When she didn’t understand what they were saying, Jane’s translator beeped quietly in her ear, alerting her to an error. The damn things weren’t great at picking up singing. Thankfully the Scrib all had lovely voices, so Jane didn’t mind. Kind of like turning the radio on in a foreign country. You get to hear something nice, even if you have no idea what they’re saying.

Jane looked around at Huhuma, who seemed entranced, smiling and humming along to the chant the Scrib were carrying. She swayed gently, tail swishing, and Jane found she couldn’t take her eyes off her. Huhuma once again caught her, and she smiled all the way up to her eyes. The Scrib reached their hands out to include them in the circle. Jane took the hand to her right, and jumped a little when Huhuma took her left in hers. Jane felt a heat deep in her cheeks and knew a blush was coming, but this time she didn’t care. The moment seemed to last, magically, as if in all the universe this one single passing blip of time belonged solely to her.

Oh crap… I’ve got a crush, Jane thought.

When the chant was finished and the Scrib let their hands drop, Jane held onto Huhuma’s hand for just a beat longer before letting go.

“That was lovely, Mirn,” Huhuma said.

“Thank you, Doctor.”

“I have to say though, what did it mean?” Huhuma continued. “I’m afraid my translator wasn’t able to distinguish any of it.”

“Oh, it was simply a prayer song, praising the Spirit Lord for the bounty of knowledge he’s bestowed on us, as well as for a world of healthy people and the resources to help our fellow lifeforms.”

“What a nice sentiment,” Huhuma said.

“I heard that Scribbin was a haven for medical technology,” Jane spoke up. “Your planet has some of the best teaching hospitals in the GAIL. I’d love to visit one day, attend a lecture or two.”

“All are welcome,” Lark informed them. “Spreading the medical information we have discovered is a tenet of our people.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Jane said hesitantly, “if your people are so inclined to medicine, why aren’t you all doctors yourselves?”

“Some just do not have the temperament for it, nor the inclination,” Mirn said.

“Nor sometimes the stomach,” Lark laughed. “You should have seen Mirn during his first aid training on Scribbin. He was trembling like a newborn at the sight of blood.”

“I was merely too… inexperienced,” Mirn said, with some side eye that made Jane chuckle. “Now before any more of someone’s soon to be former friends bring up the past, we should enjoy the feast.”

Lark laughed as the Scrib stood and began bringing over plates and platters of food. Cups and goblets were handed out, large pitchers of something that smelled sweet yet oddly medicinal were set out, and they began to eat.

Jane grabbed a little of everything, wanting to explore more alien cuisine. Huhuma piled on what appears to be several different vegetables and fruits. She poured some the medicinal drink into a glass and held it out to Jane.

“Thank you,” Jane said.

“Of course, dear.”

Jane felt something swish against her back and saw it was the Doctor’s tail, a totally involuntary action she was sure. Jane hid her face in the cup anyway, swigging down the drink. It tasted sweet, with an odd tannin on the end, still with that medicine taste, but it was also very refreshing.

“What is this drink? It’s good,” Jane said.

“It’s a medicinal wine we brought from our home planet. We only drink during ceremonies like this once a month, so we found a way to enjoy it more,” Lark said, smiling as she took a sip.

“Can I have some more?” Jane asked.

“Of course,” Mirn said, sliding over the pitcher. Huhuma steadied the cup in Jane’s hand and refilled hers before pouring herself another glass. Her fur tickled Jane’s wrist.

“It’s alcoholic?” Huhuma asked.

“A very small percentage, we assure you.”

Whatever the drink was, it was good, in Jane’s opinion. The whole spread was delicious. While she was reaching for something, Huhuma took it upon herself to split a fruit on her plate and place the second half in front of Jane. Jane thanked her, particularly conscious of the way her tail kept swishing against her back behind them. She tried to make small talk with the Scrib, asking various questions about their beliefs and their planet, perhaps she could get a tour of one of their hospitals one day?

All the while, blindingly aware of the delightful presence to her left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Jane opened her eyes the next morning, it wasn’t her ceiling she was looking at.

Oh no, nononononono no, this isn’t happening, Jane thought sluggishly. Her head was pounding, her mouth was dry, and her clothes

-thank you space Jesus-

were still on, if wrinkled. And then she realized she did recognize the ceiling, and the room for that matter. She was in the Med Bay, in the head office, wrapped up in Doctor Huhuma’s hammock. Jane groaned.

“Well good morning to you too.”

Damn you space Jesus, don’t do this to me when I’m this hungover.

Jane looked up and saw the good doctor sitting in her office chair, a hot cup of something in one hand and a data pad in the other. She was smiling, and looking as pristine as ever.

“I’m… my god I’m so sorry Huhuma,” Jane stammered.

“For what? Hogging my hammock all night? I slept in my spare, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Jane couldn’t remember a thing after dinner with the Scrib last night. She rubbed her eyes and tried unsuccessfully to get her feet under her in a way that didn’t relay how out of it she was.

“So when I ask what happened… I didn’t… we weren’t… what happened?”

“Well,” Huhuma said, smiling so wide, “dinner was great. Mirn and Lark and the rest loved us. We had some lovely conversations about med tech and I believe we have a standing invitation to attend another ceremony with them if we wanted.”

“So how did…?” Jane gestured to herself.

“That happened afterwards. You held yourself together very well during the dinner, and afterwards you said you wanted to go have a ‘girls night’ with me. I think that medicinal wine of theirs was a little stronger than they thought. We got drinks in the mess hall, which got a little…” she gestured to Jane. “I didn’t feel like carrying you all the way to your quarters, and I didn’t think you’d mind. And I got to see your reaction, so it was undeniably worth it. You humans are just so cute. Indoprime eat fermented fruits pretty young, so our tolerances to alcohol are high, but you humans… just so cute.”

Jane closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn’t done anything too overtly stupid. Thank god Huhuma was there to take care of her.

“Well, I’m glad we amuse you,” Jane said, finally getting her legs freed and on the ground. “And… thank you, for taking care of me. I don’t drink a lot, so… yeah. I’m going to go to my quarters and get changed.”

Jane headed for the door.

“Well, I mean, you did give me a kiss though,” Huhuma said. “Remember that?”

Jane froze at the door. She stood stock still, like her body had been frozen in place, except everything felt hot, her face especially. Slowly, slowly, she turned around, and her embarrassment slipped to confusion. Huhuma was standing there with a piece of chocolate in her hand.

“Yeah, you said you wanted to give me kisses, but the Vending Machines you humans installed only made you one at a time, so you got impatient with it and just gave me the first one.”

Huhuma walked over and slipped the piece of chocolate into Jane’s hand.

“I can’t really eat the stuff, so I guess I have to give you a kiss back.” Huhuma was smiling. She was so close to Jane’s face, and she smelled so good… and the she was turning back around and walking back to her desk, tail swishing back and forth.

Jane was speechless. Brain not functioning. Retreat to safe location. She said nothing and just stumbled out the door and practically sprinted to her quarters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh my god, you useless lesbian,” Liz Collins said.

“I don’t have genitalia, does it still count as a ‘girl talk’ if I am present?” Coco asked.

“Why did I bother asking you two for your help?” Jane sighed, face in her hands.

She didn’t know what else to do. She’d sat in her quarters for an hour before sending a communication to the science department asking for a ‘consult’. Liz had shown up 5 minutes later with several bottles of water and enough chocolate to feed an army, but Jane was told that was just Coco’s breakfast. She’d stared at the small confectionery pieces for a while as the two let themselves get comfortable in her room, thinking of a kiss…

“So she just…” Liz asked, hanging the question in the air.

“Yup”.

“After all that…”

“Yup.”

“And you didn’t try to…”

“Nope.”

“You should’ve gone for it.”

“Gone for what?” Jane asked impatiently.

“I don’t know, something!” Liz said. “I’ve never exactly been in your shoes before, or anyone else’s really, but this is basic chemistry right? You have it with the cute doctor monkey lady, right?”

“If I knew if I had chemistry with someone, do you think I’d be asking the person who brought their best friend the tree here for tips?”

Coco sat quietly eating chocolate.

“I have no idea what I’m supposed to do here,” Jane groaned. “Being a human is awful, Coco, we got all this weird biology and chemicals in our brains, you’re much better off as a plant.”

“I can see that,” Coco said. “If you are worried about being mates with the Indoprime doctor, is it not… appropriate to see what they want first?”

“Honestly? Probably. It’s been a while since I dated, and that ended poorly, to say the least. But I don’t have any clue how to… approach this. Besides, this is just a crush, on my boss, who I don’t even know how exactly they feel in the first place.”

“I mean, you spent the morning getting wound up like a spring, I’d say it’s pretty clear, right?” Liz said. Jane chugged another bottle of water.

“Yeah you’d think right? If this was a human, or even just a guy, this would be easier. But she’s so… put together, and mature, and pretty, and…”

“Noah to Jane, reel it back girl, you’re lost out in Huhuma space, hon,” Liz said. “You could check her medical records for a start, check if she has a spouse or something back home, see if anyone is playing goalie,” Liz said, tossing back some chocolate.

“You sound like a guy,” said Jane.

“Still, though.”

“I still do not see why the two just do not mate and spread their pollen-” Coco started.

“Okay, you sweet summer child, that’s not how non-botanical lifeforms do that,” Liz cut her off. Jane was about to burst a blood vessel from embarrassment.

There was a knock at the door.

“Come in?” Jane said, confused.

Marrin was in the room before the door was even all the way open.

“What happened? Are you okay? Did she do anything weird to you?” Marrin asked rapidly.

“Woah, woah, what’s up?” Jane asked startled.

“I heard about last night from cousin Huhuma, I came as quickly as I could. You’re okay, right?”

“Yes, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Liz and Coco sat on the bed watching events unfold. Coco handed her counterpart a piece of chocolate.

“Okay, I wasn’t going to tell you this, but back on Indos, she had a… reputation.” Marrin looked at Jane, and the doctor’s heart sank.

“Whenever anyone was even remotely interested in her, she’d basically ruin their lives for a few weeks.”

Huh?

“Wait, you knew I was into her?” Jane asked incredulously.

“You’re not subtle,” Marrin explained.

Damn it.

“What do you mean ‘ruin their lives’, what the hell does she do?” Jane asked.

“Just… violently and publicly rejects them. She makes sure everyone knows it. There was one time when we were younger and this one male wouldn’t take no for an answer, kept coming around and bothering her… they found him the next day tied to a post by our tribe Elder’s home, shaved from head to tail. I love my cousin, dearly, but she is a devil woman.”

“Well… fuck, that’s pretty funny actually,” Jane admitted. “But she hasn’t done anything like that to me, she took care of me while I was… a little sick, last night, and she’s only ever been nice to me.”

“Yeah, nice,” Liz said snorting. “Wrapped you around her fingers, but sure, nice.”

“Oh fuck you,” Jane said, and Liz burst out into laughter, followed by Marrin. Coco didn’t get it, but she made similar sounds, or tried to with her lack of lungs.

Great. Totally confused by my feelings for the pretty space doctor lady, and the only help I’m gonna get is from the tree hugging virgin and possibly the lady-in-question’s cousin. Juuust great.

Well at least there wasn’t a goalie. Jane felt a rush a relief knowing she wasn’t going to, should she make the attempt, home wreck anyone.

“Hey Marrin, what’s the general view on same gender relationships on Indos?” Liz asked.

“It isn’t of any consequence,” Marrin informed. “To go through life with another is a blessing, unrestricted.”

“Well at least you don’t have to worry about that, right Jane?”

“I’ve heard you humans have weird hang ups,” Marrin said.

“The humans are odd in general,” Coco stated. “I believe we are all late for our duties.”

“Coco is right, we gotta get to the lab,” Liz said, heading for the door. “Good luck hon!”

Marrin left as well, saying she’d… stay out of her way, in so many words.

Jane groaned and fell back flat on her bed.

Why was being human so hard?

[irondadfics]

hiiiii do u have any fics where peter is in a depressive episode?? ty for all u do :))

do these fit what you’re looking for?

mind the tags everyone

Sorry There's No Way Out (But Down) by natasha_romanoff_official (ashadeofgreen)

Peter attempts suicide. He tries to text Ned goodbye from a burner phone. He remembers the wrong number, and accidentally texts Tony. TW: suicide attempt

i'll put down my roots when i'm dead by peterparkersbff

Tony pauses for a moment, humming thoughtfully as he watches Peter and carefully considers his next words. “Ever tried lobster flavored ice cream?” he asks. And the question is odd, so out of the blue, that it has Peter blinking rapidly and snapping back to reality from whatever plane of existence he’d been on. “What?” Or, Peter’s had it in his mind for weeks that he’s going to die splattered against the pavement on some random street in New Jersey. Tony has some objections.

Peter Parker Has A Gun by orphan_account

Peter Parker has a gun, not Spider-Man. Tonight it's Peter Parker with a gun and he's wondering if he's going to pull the trigger as he looks down the barrel. Here Peter Parker sits, streetlights and moonlight and the ghostly blue glow of his phone lighting up the barrel of a gun – safety off.

5 times Peter was saved by orphan_account

...and the one time he saved everyone    -in other words strong boy peter parker saves everyone who took time to save him when they didn't have to

5 Times Peter Didn't Say He Was Struggling…And The One Time He Did by Bladam_Shevine

Chapter 5 & Chapter 6 probably fit the most

Peter had a knack for keeping things to himself, causing an unnecessary amount of stress for a graying Tony Stark.

Happy, in a Crying Sort of Way by LordOfThePoptarts

Peter Parker would say there were a lot of positives to getting bit by a radioactive spider. Better stamina, super strength, super healing, precognition, and getting to meet Iron Man would just be some items of note on the long list of pros. There were plenty of drawbacks too though. He couldn't eat anything with peppermint in it anymore, and he couldn't thermoregulate, but the one con that bothered Peter the most was that normal medication no longer worked on him because of his metabolism. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem except for when he got hurt on patrol and needed painkillers of course, which okay was pretty often, but Peter could deal with a lack of painkillers. Sure, it hurt and was painful, but the wound was always gone in a day or two, because hey super healing. What he couldn't deal with was when his antidepressants stopped working.

[kirbybecomesastarwarrior]

🫀and ♟️?

Questions from here:

Fair warning: Lots of Lore dumping is about to take place /A long read... (but for those of you who want a quick read, you can just skim to the picture/image sections which will give a quick summary of what is being explained.) Have a great day!~

Lady Celestine was actually never supposed to be Merlyn... She was originally going to be the "Lady of the Lake... Nimue"

If you see in the earlier drafts I tried to hang on to the whole blacksmith idea/ and the creator of the scared items but then I just changed it to alchemist cause it was just I solidified her role as Merlyn~

She was going to be the soul inside the Galaxia, but she lost all her memories because she was the first to rebel against the ancients and withheld her creations as an act of protest towards them and the other Heroes of Yore... And was punished as a result, but before she was permanently sealed she performed her last act of defiance and scattered them about the galaxy.

(Via. Galaxia imprisonment )

While Sir Uther & Sir Icarus were supposed to fill the bigger roles of how the galaxy became a wasteland, she was written to be the only truly "Good hero of Yore."

Lady Celestine as Lady of the Lake:

I couldn't grasp what to do with her... She definitely had a more stern personality to fit Galaxia, but I just couldn't get on board with her character. The best way to say it is I think I made her "too perfect" (or the girl bossed her too much... I was reading Remarried Empress at the time, so basically, she had Navier's personality.)

Seemly cold & calculating but has a heart of gold underneath is all merely misunderstood. Very nonsense struggles with connecting Normally methodical and is always composed but has a sarcastic tic to her if you rile her up enough...

She was still an owl lady, but it was a reference to the Athena Goddess of Wisdom in Greek Mythology. (Owls often being associated with her and being her symbolic creature.)

I much as I loved the arctype (Navier's personality.)I wasn't in love with her character...

She had nothing really attaching me to her... it just felt like she was there to fill a slot as another hero of Yore she had nothing endearing about her... I didn't know what to do with her...But I didn't want to throw her away (I loved her design & color scheme).

That is until I ran into another problem...

For those who don't know in the original draft, Srir Arthur was supposed to be the villain in the series. (or the surprise villain so to speak~) However, once the rewrite happened and created Sir Uther in the au...all his evil went into him.

Especially once I changed his relationship with Meta Knight as his father figure and became the one who saved him from Sir Uther. But despite all my mind just kept seeing that man as a villain~

But then it occurred while creating this post (Link here ) ... Wait a second (*me taking a long good look, at Sir Arthur in the narrative*) WHY ARE YOU GOOD? I needed a reason why Arthur was good in the KBASW.

I wrote him too naturally accepting he just seemed too suspicious... plus... And besides with such a corrupt system in the GSA (the one created by the Ancients & Uther), how could one good egg exist...

So in a very "Meta" way (pun intended), not only was I trying to find a motivation for him to be good that convincing in the narrative... I was also trying to convince myself...

Perhaps if it was another character, it'd be enough, but... The Sir Arthur from the first draft kept creeping in my mind... (it's so hard to let go of your first ideas...)

Then the answer came to me... who (in Arthurian) was Arthur's mentor and confidant, and his compass in guiding him to become king...Merlin. I had a Sir Uther... why not have a Merlin! (Plus, in the show Merlin 2008: Arthur started out as a little jerk ward and only became a better person through Merlin's influence!)

Wait a moment... don't I have a character design on the back burner.

So, I fully committed to changing her role as the Merlyn of the KBASW... I was able to get a better feel for who she was in the story. This resulted in the current design & personality she has now...

Basically, I pulled both the Disney & TV versions and took my favorite aspect of both of them which resulted in the vigilante persona of "Merlyn" was actually a nod to the TV series Merlin's old man persona Dragoon...I did want to make a few changes to really make her more than just a counterpart to Merlin. (I think that's why I got so stuck on her the first time when she originally was the Lady of the Lake...)

So her future vision would always be the main part of her character. Though I made it the reason why she was such an empathic person. Not only seeing the future, but she can feel it too:~

To go along with the whole guide theme, I made it a part of her title as a Hero of Yore~. Celestine, the "Navigator of the Constellation." The four-pointed Star Crystal refers to the "North Star," the closest star to the celestial pole, the main compassing star to signal north... it was used to guide people home~. (The moral compass)

Due to her ability, she gets overly involved in situations and emotions. Since she has all these terrible visions, she feels responsible for them. Which results in her being overly critical of herself when things go wrong and lacking self-care. Despite hating her abilities, she is overly reliant on them...

Overall she's a smart, witty, scatterbrained, down-to-earth, well-meaning goofball with a sassy edge...

I was finally able to give Celestine the soul that she needed. And how did they become a couple, you may ask? When writing her her story was so entirely laced with Arthur (because of Arthurian legend) that their chemistry was undeniable...(Also I shipped Merthur in the TV series, so once I saw an opening I took it)

And she since was supposed to be Arthur's person. I used complementary colors to connect the both of them together. Adding orange & gold to her blues & yellow...

And so with that all said Sir Arthur became

The First Redeemed Villian of KBASW~

Redeeming the former baddies so they can use their skills and talents for the forces of good through kindness (Kirby). Celestine is basically the first one to do so... This did so much for the plot.

Sir Arthur: If someone like me could be given a chance and be changed for the better... Then so can this lot (Referening to Star Allies)

Arthur can naturally, relate to Kirby's menagerie of former villains who wanted to improve and be reformed. It fixed the problem of his niceness/goodness coming off as disingenuous (when I first was writing). There's a motive and reason behind them... Celestine. She showed Sir Arthur that there was a better way, a smarter way, a kinder way... It's her influence & example that inspired him to be a better man... a good man.

That's how Arthur gained the empathy & courage to stand up to Sir Uther and injustice when he was about to execute baby MK. It also enriches Meta's relationship with Sir Arthur... The man was barely holding on, and Meta gave him a reason to live.

Due to the Ancient cursing & erasing Celestine from existence, she was, he could not even speak her name. But Arthur was able to walk around this by speaking about that funny whimsical rouge that he was never able to catch "Merlyn." The stories always made Meta laugh; however, he could never understand why Sir Arthur would speak of this failure so fondly.

He deeply blames himself for not being able Celestine. Everything that happened to her was out of his control... This is why Arthur wants to create a better world, a place where Meta & Celestine would've been accepted.

Not only that, but he has this fear of being alone left. This is why he made the safest route for Meta Knight (to be one of the holy knights to keep him safe...), but wasn't the right path for him which (Leads to "Birth of Lone Swordsman...") and misunderstands. This makes it all the more heartbreaking to Arthur that Meta Knight thinks he doesn't truly love & care for all of him... when he does </3.

(Don't worry) He learns his lesson, and they make up (early on during Falsapr getting punished for the Fisher King incident, spontaneously meeting up when they're both saving Falspar...) It wasn't a proper talk and it was mostly Arthur and Meta apologizing because they missed each other.

MK only understands Sir Arthur after the war (& the Knightmare's End Saga). And goes to apologize to him again during the Kirby & Crystal Shard (I need a reason why the Meta wasn't there during the game... perfect excuse...)

Also presents a reason why Sir Arthur allows Meta Knight & Kirby to stay in Dreamland. "You deserve a chance to find yourself after this war... that man (Uther) can no longer have a hold on us... You have nothing to prove, you're free now... but if you need anything I will always be here waiting, just visit when you can okay?"

He learns his lesson, too, allowing him to leave & stay as he pleases... and the door was always open for him & Kirby the gang!~

(and someone gets rather jealous of this bias.... *cough* Dragato)

And of course, they do visit often (the plot demands it)... This leads MK to re-establish closeness with his mentor (learning from his own time with Kirby). Sir Arthur was trying his best too & he isn't perfect... he's not invincible... Wait what's happening to him...Why is he moving slower... His protector who seemed so unshakable...his father-... Is he getting weaker?

The early reconciliation is to make way for the true conflict: Meta realizes that his father figure is growing older & weaker. But why (*cough* Trip to Underworld *cough *the deal *)... like I said the man did not leave for free, a price had to be paid... (Did I have these two rekindle their wholesome father-son relationship only to have something tragic happen to the father... yes!)

There's such an emotional reason why Meta Knight has to become the leader of GSA. He's not only continuing Arthur's legacy but also Celestine's legacy. With the way Arthur raised him, he was able to instill the beliefs of her as Merlyn... And I also:

In the Kirby game series, Meta Knight always offers a sword to Kirby. It comes into play with Arthur's story. This act was done with Arthur & Celestine, however, not for the sake of due... for a very different reason... And this action & courtesy is passed down. (There's a hidden special meaning behind it... SWORD & THE STONE REFERENCE)

And so, making Celestine Merlyn was the best decision I ever made!

Celarthur/Merthur

Really, I wanted to engineer a love story that complemented the series as a whole... I was able to write Arthur as a fuller character as well as give an emotional core to him. And Celestine became a fleshed-out three-dimensional character and found his place in the narrative.

I KID YOU NOT THESE TWO SAVED EACH OTHER'S CHARACTER WITHIN AND OUT OF THE STORY! I LOVE THESE GOOBERS WITH ALL MY HEART!

@kirbyoctournament

Fun Fact:

Guys I kid you not she was so close to being named "Celestia..."But then I kept associating the name with My Little Pony~ (hardcore Brony back in the day) So she became Celestine...

~

@ceoofmetagala I got so excited when I got your ask (♟️it was the question I really wanted to get), and the fact that you were the one who asked made me so happy... I JUST HAD TO GO ALL OUT ON THIS POST~ And then I think I got carried away and ended up making it too long!~

I know you wanted this was just a questions 🫀 &♟️ on them:

♟️: When did you make your oc?

But it ended up being snowballed into the trial & error of creating Celty and how she wound up as the final version of herself.

🫀 : is there anything your oc and canon characters don’t like about each other?

I promise I'll get into this 🫀 A lot of people asked this. I'll get to the one soon... I wanted to do something extra special for this one... comic maybe~ (this was the one where I hinted jokingly that everyone wanted Arthur to get the couch~)

I hope this is enough & that you like it!

[narrans]

My Borrowed Son | 22 | Choices and Change

Chapter Twenty-Two | Choices and Change

Amanda knew she had messed up, but was now even the time to discuss it? Every expert she read about was saying the same thing. Every article and book indicated the same thing.

And yet Amanda couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Every adoption parenting book and article she researched said that integrating the fact that the child was adopted as soon and as early as possible would be the healthiest thing for them. Practically every study said that integrating this information as a part of every day life would keep a sense of normalcy and a sense of belonging for the child.

It helped in showing the child that even if they didn’t come from you, it didn’t mean they were loved or cared for any less. Sharing this information allowed open communication and questions in a “safe space.”

The only problem for Amanda was that she didn’t have the answers.

She didn’t tell Parker early on that she didn’t give birth to him.

She didn’t tell Parker that she found him at a children’s playground under a bench scared and alone after several powerful thunderstorms days prior.

She didn’t know what he was if he wasn’t a human with some kind of weird genetic disorder.

She didn’t even know if his real, biological parents were even alive.

No answers.

No hope of turning back the clock.

No way she could proceed delicately if she wanted to tell Parker anything about his origins.

So, when his fourteenth birthday came and went, Amanda realized that she could only prepare herself for when his questions would inevitably come. Everything was further complicated when Parker finally confessed that he thought he had feelings for his fellow classmate, Lyn.

Amanda had suspected Parker’s feelings for months now, but it wasn’t until he actually confessed that he thought he had a crush that it seemed real to her. It was obvious to Amanda, but Parker was a bit more reserved when it came to his confessions of puppy love for his friend.

No talk about being boyfriend and girlfriend was mentioned, but Amanda knew it was only a matter of time before any of this happened. It was an exciting and nerve wracking time, but Amanda couldn’t help but feel dread for what might lay on the horizon.

The thoughts about a discussion with Parker about him being adopted were also taking a back burner in her mind.

Recently, Amanda’s work had given her a promotion and wanted her to start coming into the office regularly rather than being virtual. She trusted her son in being alone in the apartment because she had done it before dozens of times when she needed to go out and couldn’t bring or hide Parker.

More than that was the fact Amanda wanted to move into a real home. A beautiful house in a nearby neighborhood had just become available and, after a lot of consideration, Amanda decided to talk to Parker about possibly moving from an apartment to a house.

“Nothing will change. You’ll still have your normal classes, but we wouldn’t be in a condo attached to other apartments anymore. We would have more space and could really made something special out of it,” explained Amanda.

Of course, Parker didn’t have to be sold hard on the idea. He had lived in the same place all his life and wanted his mom to be happy. She had talked about buying a house for years and Parker had always wanted to experience a move. All of his other friends seemed to experience it after all.

The promise of a new adventure was thrilling, so Parker agreed.

“Yeah! Is it a big place? Are there lots of rooms? Is it far away? Or is it close?” asked Parker.

“It’s a bit close actually. It’s just a few neighborhoods over, which might seem silly to move if it’s not a whole new area. It’s a fairly big place. There’s a big basement, a big living room, and three bedrooms,” explained Amanda.

“Woah! I can’t wait to tell Lyn,” beamed Parker as he continued to help clear his dishes after dinner. At this, he paused and glanced nervously up at his mom. “Do… you think… umm… well… do you think I could invite my friends over? Once we get all moved in and everything? Like… in time for my fifteenth birthday?”

Amanda’s stomach dropped as she considered Parker’s words.

Many of his friends had been around for four or five years. His really close friends seemed to be good kids and developing into decent teens.

The real question, however, was could they be trusted in handling Parker with care? Also, how would they react to seeing their friend in person? What would their reactions be to him being so small?

“I… Maybe. We’ll get settled first and then see if we can host something with some of your friends,” said Amanda.

Parker’s demeanor shifted from nervous to excited as he gave an excited shimmy and washed his dishes and then headed back to his room to finish a paper for his class.

Amanda knew she had an opportunity right then and there to possibly talk to Parker about why she had been so cautious, but diminishing that excitement in Parker’s eyes would break her heart.

She decided that this new move with new beginnings may be the best time to talk to her son about how he came into her life. Just as soon as they were settled, Amanda decided that she needed to talk to Parker about everything. Not knowing the answers wasn’t a good excuse anymore. Not wanting to hurt Parker wasn’t an option.

This was going to hurt both of them, but Amanda knew deep down that, as sick as it made her, she needed to address the truth regardless of consequences.

It would happen with the move and as soon as they were settled.

~~~^*^*^~~~

Kers heard the word “move” and knew he had a critical decision to make – stay in the apartment complex with the other humans he could borrow from or go with Amanda and Parker to watch over the Borrower child.

It wasn’t a difficult decision, but the logistics was the thing Kers was mainly concerned about. Moving as a Borrower was a tricky thing. There were too many things that could go wrong and twice as many things to worry about.

Kers could be seen, both by Amanda and by Parker.

Kers could be crushed by boxes or furniture pieces.

Kers could experience malnutrition and have a harder time finding food because humans became very particular about their food when moving.

Kers would have to start from scratch when moving to a new place if Borrowers didn’t occupy the home before he moved in.

The prospect of starting from scratch wasn’t an appealing one, but there was little else he could do. He made a silent promise to keep Parker safe, and that was what he intended to do.

So, with precision and care, Kers began packing all of his essentials in a go backpack. For his other essentials and items he had borrowed and wanted to take with him, Kers made the bold decision to put the items back into the human’s possession in the hopes he could borrow them back once they had finished the move.

Some of the things were blankets and kitchen supplies that were too heavy for him to carry with him. Other items he was able to deconstruct and slip into small boxes of miscellaneous nick knacks that the human, Amanda, never really bothered with.

It helped that Amanda had a big calendar countdown in the kitchen letting herself and Parker know how many days they had until the big move. It let Kers slip down into the kitchen and place his valuables into places Amanda might not look or grow suspicious of while she collected everything to move.

When the big day came, Kers felt his heart pounding in his throat. He had managed to collect nearly everything in his home and place it back into Amanda’s care temporarily. When Amanda began moving her boxes, the Borrower seized his opportunity.

Palms sweaty. Heart pounding distinctively slow in sync with every time his foot connected with the ground. Kers knew he had mere seconds to spare, but it didn’t stop his calmness of hand as he wrenched his hook from his hip and snagged it on the edge of the box.

Kers’ sprint was not half as taxing as the lightning fast climb he made into a nearby cluttered box of odds and ends. He just managed to get his hook free and found a hiding place, trusting his skills and praying he wasn’t noticed, before he felt the box begin to shift. He closed his eyes and hoped that nothing would reveal his hiding place.

The box jostled vigorously before being hoisted into the air at a nauseating speed. From where he was, Kers could see Amanda’s fingers poking through the box at the handholds. Kers held onto his gut and pinched his thumbs into his clenches fists as his breakfast threatened to make an appearance.

“Hang on, mom! Are my chargers in that box? Or in the other one?” asked Parker, whose voice was alarmingly close. Kers dared to glance up at the small gap of light at the top of the box as he wriggled further down into his hiding space beside some pen cups. From where he was, Kers could clearly see the charging cables Parker was referring to.

“Um… I think so,” Amanda replied, her much louder voice shaking the Borrower to his core.

“Is it okay if I check? I’ll be quick,” asked Parker. The question made Kers’ blood run cold.

Check?

Check!

You mean in the box?

Here?

Now?

Oh no…

Kers could do nothing as he listened to the sound of tiny feet pitter pad across the cardboard roof above him and watch as a small shadow filled the gap above him. He could only hope his Borrower skills had camouflaged him well enough so that Parker and his keen eyes wouldn’t notice him.

The small shadow of a fellow Borrower eclipsed the little bit of light at the top of the box before Kers heard a soft thump followed by an “ooff.” The disguised Borrower leaned back further and made sure he was braced for if the box was dropped suddenly. He knew the cardboard was too thick to cut through, but Kers had a clear path to those handholds Amanda was using now.

If he needed to, he could make a mad dash as long as that path wasn’t blocked.

No reassuring thoughts could quiet his relentlessly thumping heart. Each beat made his entire chest throb. Clenching his jaw and leaning back a little further, Kers could clearly see the little sandy haired Borrower teen rummaging through a few odds and ends at the opposite end of the box.

Seeing him up close really showed Parker’s form. He looked healthy and tall, which was a tribute to Amanda’s care. Amazing what good nutrition can do for you. He’s taller than the average Borrower, and he’s only going to get taller.

Parker suddenly turned around and, for a moment, Kers felt his heart skip a beat. Parker’s eyes widened and then squinted in rapid succession.

Kers held his breath.

Everything – time itself – stood still before Kers saw a smile curl Parker’s lips.

“Found them! They’re over there in the corner,” called Parker as he spun back around toward the light and jumped, catching the edge of the cardboard with his fingertips and hoisting himself up and out of the box.

Kers wanted to shout to release all of the pent-up energy his body was charged with in those tense moments, but instead he forced himself to breathe calmly and nodded slowly.

That was close.

That was too close.

One of us needs to talk to Parker sooner or later.

Kers could only imagine what kind of interaction that would have been had Parker actually spotted him hiding there under the various wires and contraptions in the box. It only ended poorly for everyone no matter how Kers thought about it.

It only reaffirmed the fact that Parker needed to know the truth whether or not he was asking the right questions.

It was time.

At least, it was nearing time.

Kers realized that he needed to get to the new house and settled in, relatively speaking, before addressing Parker. It occurred to Kers that possibly addressing Amanda first might be a better alternative to talking to Parker first, but the thought of talking to a human and willingly revealing Borrower-kind made him sick.

Sadly, it was probably the best way to go about it. Revealing himself directly to Parker would bring about trust issues between him and his mother and possibly make Parker resent his mother. If Kers talked to Amanda and answered her questions first, perhaps when she talked to Parker she would have those answers and then be able to refer to Kers, their friendly neighborhood wall walker, for further explanation.

It would show that Amanda wanted to talk to Parker about everything and wasn’t trying to hide information while also telling him the truth.

Parker deserved it.

He was a good kid.

He was going to be a man before long.

It wasn’t going to be easy or pretty, but just mulling over the concepts and ideas of addressing everything to Parker and Amanda helped keep the Borrower’s mind off of the overall trip. He didn’t even notice the roar of the car engine or the jostling all around him as the boxes around him.

The car finally came to a halt and after what felt like an hour of waiting in the darkness of the vehicle trunk the jostling came to his box as it was carried into the house. The whole thing felt like tumbling down a bumpy hill or a knotted line, every step making his insides lurch. Kers could only guess that Amanda was more careful when she was carrying around Parker; he hoped so at least.

When the world finally stopped moving, Kers remained completely still for another twenty minutes. His heart pounded uncomfortably as the thought that Parker could come climbing down into the box for his various belongings interrupted any and all of Kers’ strategic plans to escape his current environment.

It wasn’t until he was certain he was going to be alone for the next few minutes that Kers dared to push himself up, grab his pack, and climb up to the handhold to get a better view of his surroundings.

The living area was hard wood, which would make any movement very audible if he wasn’t light on his toes, and from where Kers was he could spot the kitchen and a set of stairs leading to an upstairs.

The vastness of the room and complete lack of cover made his instincts feel electrified, but all he needed was one clear shot to get into the walls. The sensation and difficulty of the task made his head swirl, but Kers took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

Go. Now!

That instinct in his mind screamed just as he began wiggling his way through the handhold on the box. Every hair stood on end. Every sound seemed amplified. The tremor in the ground felt like an earthquake.

Amanda was on her way back.

Kers knew he had only seconds to react, and he took full advantage of it.

Slinging his pack onto his back, Kers dared to drop from one box to the next without a security line all the way to the ground where he fell instantly into a crouch. His body seemed to move on its own as he rounded the corner just as Amanda passed right behind and headed toward the kitchen with a box of supplies in her arms.

One glance told Kers that Parker was riding on Amanda’s shoulder and seeing them both towering above him was crippling. Heart palpitating, Kers took his chance as he spotted an electrical outlet at the far end of the living room. He was sure he was making noise. It sounded like he was running around crashing into everything he could, which was not the case.

He had just made it to the electrical cover and unscrewed the faceplate when he heard Amanda and Parker talking about how they wanted to set up Parker’s room. It made Kers’ heart hurt hearing the excitement in the young teen’s voice.

There was such zeal and innocence there.

It took a couple of good tugs, but Kers finally managed to yank free the cover as he practically threw himself into the walls and covered the hole once more.

As Kers slipped into the comfort of the walls, he let himself breathe his first true sigh of relief all day. Though he knew borrowing back the things he mixed into Amanda’s belongings would be a trick, he knew he was once again safe within reason.

The Borrower sank to the ground, sliding down the wall slowly, and sat there against the stud of a load bearing wall. Something in his heart refused to quiet. It was either fate or pure dumb luck that Parker hadn’t seen him earlier.

Kers chuckled to himself quietly as the irony hit him. Here he was worried that Parker – a fellow Borrower – saw him as if Parker were a human.

Well… I suppose he kind of is all things considering.

Once he gathered himself, Kers hoisted himself and his pack onto his back. There was a lot to do and there was never enough time to do it.

First things first was to find a nice place to sleep and set up a temporary base of operations. There was nothing worse during a move than trying to fun from one side of the house to the othe when there was a decent middle ground that reached all of the essential spots.

For Kers, that usually was at or around the kitchen, so that’s where he headed. The pack on his back felt like it weighed a whole pound, but he refused to leave these things behind. It honestly showed him what living a sedentary life felt like, especially when collecting things with sentimental value.

It was a new experience, and something about it felt oddly good. Borrowers, after all, didn’t usually get to keep many trinkets and bobbles and knick-knacks that amused them. They needed to be able to move at the drop of a hat. They lived everywhere and nowhere.

Nomads.

Sojourners.

Borrowers.

What was on their backs was already too much to carry. It didn���t stop Kers from collecting what he did and bringing it with him.

Despite the aching it caused his bones and muscles, Kers trekked through the walls with steady confidence. He had moved many times before, carrying those same things with him everywhere ever since he was a child.

Now was no different.

He would start from scratch and work his way back up to having a home, but he wouldn’t part with these things. It would be difficult. He knew it. But it wasn’t different than anything else he had ever done.

He also knew, as he turned his hip lamp and held it to the ground, that there wasn’t hardly enough dust in between the walls and beams. There were holes from thumb tacks in weird places. It was his next discovery that truly solidified Kers’ suspicions. There was even a small pencil drawing that looked like a simple house with an arrow heading further into the walls.

Excitement and nervousness instantly churned his insides.

I haven’t even been here twenty minutes and already I think there might be someone else living here in the walls.

Kers’ suspicions were confirmed when he wiggled his way through a narrow board that looked like it had been purposefully cut and smoothed over and saw Christmas and fairy lights twinkling around the next corner.

The Borrower swallowed dryly as every possible scenario clouded his mind. This was both the best thing and the worst thing possible.

Best because he didn’t need to start from scratch and had others he could potentially rely on if they were friendly.

Worst because they could see Kers as an enemy. What was worse still was that they didn’t know about Amanda, Parker, and the circumstances surrounding this human mother and Borrower child duo.

Kers had decided over four years ago to help and protect Parker. If that had to be from other Borrowers before Parker was ready for the truth, so be it.

No sooner had Kers made this decision did he hear voices coming from around the corner. They sounded like a mix of ages and genders, but Kers guessed it was a dad and at least three kids, two boys and a girl.

Kers didn’t want to scare them and did the only polite thing to do.

“Hello?” he called, no plan and every prayer to his name.

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Continue

Previous

Beginning

[dawn-moths]

I’m curious how your “a storm pairs well with a cerulean gaze” au touya would be with #s 3, 7, 19, and 50 if its not too much??

hi hi!! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

i’d be happy to do those for you, you know that au is one of my favorites heehee~

3. Do they enjoy cooking?

i think, before touya met you, he never cooked. he ordered cheap takeout or picked something up from the local konbini. however, once you two start living together, you start teaching him. he shows an interest one morning when you’re making breakfast, and even though it’s just some simple scrambled eggs and toast, he genuinely has no idea where to start.

maybe, once upon a time, he would have. somewhere in a distant childhood where his mother would've stayed around to help him learn. but those memories have always been few and far between. he's trained himself not to look back.

“c’mon, touya,” you tease him with a look that says you’re not buying it. “you don’t actually expect me to believe you’ve never made scrambled eggs and toast before, do you?”

touya goes quiet, hides his insecurity behind the subtle clenching of his jaw.

he hopes you miss it, but you know him better than that so you don’t.

“touya,” you say, more firmly this time, as you set down the spatula and turn off the burner, little blue flames dying down under the pan. “i mean— really?”

you don’t want to sound like you’re judging him but, well, it’s just he’s always seemed so capable to you. like he could do anything. figure out any problem.

“alright...” you sigh, though it sounds sort of dreamy, like this new information you’re learning about him is endearing to some degree. “come here and i’ll teach you.”

how often did you get to be the one to teach him something? you weren’t going to waste this rare moment.

so, for the next week, the two of you learn to like eating scrambled eggs and toast every morning, though you go through several more cartons of eggs than you normally would on account of most of touya’s early attempts turning out completely inedible and having to be thrown away.

he also nearly starts a fire by turning the toaster up too high, but you promised him you wouldn’t tease him about it after he got upset when you wouldn’t stop laughing. you know. right before you were thrown into a fit of panic when the smoke alarms started going off and you rushed to open a window while he quickly tossed the charred, petrified piece of bread into the sink and under a rush of cold water.

but, lucky for the two of you, touya is a fast learner. once he gets it right, he pretty much has it perfected. he starts taking pride in his new skill, takes on the task of making you both breakfast whereas it used to be your job in the past.

and it’s nice and all but pretty soon you have to start adding new recipes to his repertoire lest you grow to resent scrambled eggs and toast on the principle of eating it most days of the week.

you pat his hand in the middle of the table before lightly intertwining your fingers. “why don’t i teach you some good smoothie recipes next?” you ask as you watch him take another bite of his eggs, the food turned radioactive orange on account of how much hot sauce he’s drenched it in.

touya gives you a sly crack of a smirk, replying once he’s swallowed his bite, “why?” he asks. “tired of me setting the fire alarms off?”

you giggle and take another bite of your toast, the crispy bread holding the perfect amount of crunch.

“i’d teach you omelettes,” you say with a shrug, “but we might get evicted on fire hazard charges before you have time to get it down right.”

touya nudges your foot from under the table, flashes you that embarrassed grin you’ve come to love so much.

“shut up,” he teases. though, deep down, he knows you’re probably right.

7. Do they have any unusual fears?

hmmm… honestly i had to think about this for a long time and i think it probably takes a lot to scare him. i’d say his biggest fear preceeding his encounter with you would probably be that he’d end up living his whole life under someone else’s (in this case tomura’s) control, since he escaped one abusive/controlling situation (his father) and landed immediately in another one. but once you’ve entered his life, his biggest fear becomes losing you or having your well being threatened.

i also think there are still some underlying trauma-based fears from his childhood that can come out at unexpected times as well.

i guess i can't really see him having any small or "unusual" fears though. he's already faced so many terrifying things in his life. his own experiences have made most common phobias feel like child's play to him. if you have a fear though, he'll try and do anything in his power to make sure you won't have to encounter it, and if you do, he'll be there to hold your hand along the way.

19. How easy is it to become their friend?

i think touya is always very guarded, so making new friends is incredibly hard for him, but once someone becomes his friend, it’s probably going to be ride or die. needless to say, he has very few people like this in his life. you’re the person he considers his closest friend and for a long time, once you two move into your apartment and start your new lives together, you’re probably his only friend (especially since whoever he might've hung out with back at tomura's place he'd now consider cut off from given he doesn't want to risk getting involved with his old life again or having you pulled into trouble by association). but you have your own close friends you like to hang out with, so touya ends up finding himself having a little more alone time than he’d like.

i think he’d have one co-worker that he ends up really liking (let’s imagine it’s Jin, in this case) and just vibes with while he's at work. one thing leads to another and pretty soon he finds himself meeting him for drinks one night when he knows you're going out with some of your friends. when he finds himself leaning more into this new friendship and maybe even opening up about parts of himself he normally doesn’t let anyone aside from you see, he gets freaked out. but maybe this comes up in conversation between you two and you explain to him that all the best relationships contain vulnerability. this is a hard pill for him to swallow, but deep down he knows you’re right.

touya learns how to become a better friend as well as navigate and maintain new relationships because of you.

though, he’s still probably a little reluctant to let his new friends meet you, especially if they’re guys. he can try and hide that jealous side he has from you all he likes. he’ll never be able to deny it from himself though.

50. What is your favorite thing about them?

ooooooh gosh this is soooo hard!

well, i think the root of what caused this au to form was wanting to feel comforted and protected no matter what (i was going through a super hard time when i originally wrote it and was really needing/craving those things at that time so).

touya is nothing if not protective over you, but it’s not to the point where it’s suffocating either. he worries about you whenever you’re not together but it’s mostly a burden he takes on privately. he doesn’t try to guilt or manipulate you into being with him 24/7 or creating an environment of some sort of fear mongering either (which i’ve personally experienced in some of my past relationships and is a major red flag for me now.)

but touya can also be fun, in his own mischievous, twisted little ways. he can be playful, especially once you two have established a good foundation of trust with one another and he feels he can open up a little more. he likes to surprise you in all sorts of little ways. anything to make you smile. because it’s your smile and your laugh and knowing that he was the one that evoked that reaction from you that heals him more and more each time it happens.

send me a character i write for + a prompt from this list ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[ayelbee]

MORE THAN LOVE | K. MBAPPÉ | 4

previous chapter | next chapter

Summary: Sometimes even love is not enough for relationships. But it's fine because you are over it. But getting again in a contact with his younger brother wasn't smart.

TW: some curse words, Kylian being a dick

Notes: I just wanna thank you for you reactions on this ff<3 love you all..

------------

“So you are really going?” Kylian looked at you in disbelief as you were placing clothes into your luggage. You thought that it was obvious that you would not change your opinion about visiting your family.

“Yes Kylian, as I said earlier it’s the only week when I can see all of them.” you stayed calm. The last thing you would want was to fight with him.

“You know that we could visit them together when Y/b/n will come back from the camp, as I have no games that week.” he came closer to you. You stopped packing, you turned his way as you fixed your gaze on him.

“No, we could not Kylian. How many times do I have to tell you that I'm going to New York that week.” as much as you were trying to be calm, you started to get annoyed by the fact that Kylian was ignoring your work trip.

“But if you told your boss that you can’t go, she would respect that.” he was still calm, which made you just more annoyed.

“But I want to go to Kylian! Why wouldn’t I? What's your problem with that? It is the same as you going to Galtier saying that you don't want to play against Nantes this week.”

“Y/n you know that it is not the same!” He was pissed now. Why were so blind he thought. You weren’t clearly seeing things as he did, and he was also 100% sure that he saw them the right way.

“Do you think it is not? Because it is. Go to Galtier, say it to him and you can leave tomorrow with me!” you throw your hand up in the air. You didn’t understand where this possessive Kylian came from. He was always supportive of you, and your work. So why did he change? What changed him? Where was your Kylian?

“Y/n don’t be fucking delusional. You know that things don’t work this way in football. You know it from the start.”

"Kylian, you're using a double standard on us. So please open your eyes and think about what you want from me and what you are actually giving me. Because where did angry Kylian come from? What happened to you?” you weren’t feeling angry for a moment. You were just sad about what was happening with the two of you.

“Because our work isn't the same Y/n! That’s why I am using double standards for us. You can leave your job because I’m able to give you the whole world with my job. We won’t struggle to live just with my money. But if I stopped playing football would you be able to pay for everything for us? No, you wouldn’t. And if you are trying to find out what happened to me, look at yourself first. Because I’m not the one who all of a sudden put our relationship on the back burner.” Kylian raised his voice, he let his emotions do the talking.

You were silent as you were searching for words but before you were able to answer him he was gone. You didn’t even notice until the slamming of the door confirmed to you that he had left. You sat on the floor next to your luggage slowly breaking into a cry. He had hurt you, hurt you with his words so strongly that you weren’t even sure if you will be able to go back to your guy's normal.

You hugged your knees as close to your body as possible. You were sobbing so loudly, feeling like he just broke a piece of your heart. You started to replay the whole situation in your head, trying to find out where it broke into this argument. Because when he came to you, you thought that in the end, you will explain everything to each other. You thought that Kylian will apologize, that he will understand your actions, and that you erase all the arguments from the last few weeks.

But it didn’t end that way. Everything quickly turned into something more difficult.

It was midnight, and you were trying to fall asleep in your shared bed, but your head was replaying Kylian's words again and again. You knew that with your job you will never have as big a salary as Kylian, but it was still more than you ever thought about. The lifestyle Kylian was living was too expensive, but you didn’t care, because Kylian didn’t care. You were way more cautious with your money than him, but that didn’t change the fact that you were able to secure yourself. You could buy yourself what you wanted unless it was a plane or something like that. The last thing you would want from Kylian was his money, and he knew that.

The opening of the bedroom door interrupted your thoughts. Kylian got home. You didn’t know where he went and to be completely honest, you didn’t even wanna know.

“Are you awake Mon amour?” he lay down on the bed next to you. You hummed in response. “I’m sorry about the argument earlier, but I’m not changing my opinion.” you felt his hands around your waist as he pulled you closer to him.

“I don’t wanna leave angry” you turned to him. “because I love you.” a small tear escaped your eye, and he whipped it off.

“You know I love you too.” he slowly placed his lips on your forehead. You pressed your body more into him hugging him back. And that’s how you fell asleep. Kylian was trying his hardest to not fall asleep. He wanted to remember your hands around him. He knew how much he would need you this week. But you won’t be there. Tears started to escape his eyes as the whole situation from earlier and your hurt eyes were the only thing he could think about.

------------

The world cup broke Kylian, like he wasn’t broken enough. He was shit since ever then, and he knew it. He also tried to fix himself, but he didn’t know how. And Hakimi wasn’t really helping.

“I’m gonna die alone.” Kylian sat on the kitchen island of Hakimi’s kitchen.

“You are acting like a drama queen Kylian,” Hiba spoke as she was cooking something, Achraf on the other hand laughed. Kylian ended up spending his afternoon there after his brother rejected his plan of spending their time together.

“I’m not, it is just a pure fact. Look at him, he just turned 16 and now he doesn’t have time for his brother. Because of a girl? He always wanted to spend time with me, so that's what actually happened to him.” Kylian wasn’t really proud of himself for crushing at Hakimi's place on their free day. The pair definitely wanted to spend that day as a family with their kids, but Kylian was after all also their family, right? Plus what was he supposed to do? He was desperate.

He had slept over at his parent's house yesterday, so he definitely couldn’t crush at their place. They would start thinking that there is something wrong with him. Which probably was, but he didn’t want them to know. Then he wanted to spend the day with Ethan, but Ethan has been out with this mystery girl, so he was also not an option. Kylian could stay at home, playing Fifa all day long but he didn’t want to. For the past six months, he had spent a lot of time there alone, every day feeling more miserable than the day before so he ultimately rejected that option. So in the end this couple was his salvation.

“You should calm down brother” Achraf sipped his coffee. “You were the same at his age.” Kylian knew that they were right, but he still needed them.

“But I am annoyed because he didn’t tell me about this girl ever before. I had breakfast with him this morning and he didn’t say a word.” Kylian stole a cookie from a plate next to him.

“Because he was nervous.” Achraf rolled his eyes. “Anyway you didn’t tell me that you went for breakfast to your parent's house today.” he raised his eyebrows

“Well, I was sleeping over.” Kylian didn’t really want them to know about this.

“Again?” Hiba once again moved her attention to the men. Kylian just shrugged his shoulders, looking down at his hands as if he was guilty. “Is that because of Y/n again?” Hiba really cared about Kylian as he was her’s husbands best friend. But she also really liked you.

“Yeah,” he admitted, still looking at his hands. “I wasn’t ready for seeing her again, I just couldn’t go home.” now he looked at Hakimi, who got closer to him as he placed his hand on Kylian’s should.

“Maybe you should talk to her Kyky, it is six months and you are still not over her yet.”

“Who would I help? Definitely not to myself. She’s probably over it for a long time, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was actually leaving from a date yesterday” Kylian knew that you were over it, you were the one who broke up with him.

“Kylian, you still stalk her instagram so you know that she wasn’t leaving from a date yesterday.” that was enough for Kylian. He came for reassurance, now he was getting nothing but misery. The misery that he may have deserved, but didn't want to admit it.

“I’m gonna go home, thank you for those kind words people. See you Hakimi tomorrow.”

------------

The moment Kylian entered his apartment he felt sick. Ever since you left it was empty. Empty with stuff and empty with emotions. The warmth of home left even when heathers were on.

Kylian crashed on the couch, too tired to go to the bedroom. Today he did nothing physically demanding but he was still tired. More mentally than physically but still tired. The apartment didn't look like that day when you left. Kylian wouldn’t be able to live in that. He changed quite a lot of things. He couldn't sleep in the same bed, he couldn’t have the same couch. So he bought these things new, but it didn’t help him sleep better. Kylian even replaced the painting on the walls with some random stuff to make him feel better. But he won’t feel better if he won’t speak to you.

So now he was looking down at his phone trying to decide if he was going to do the right thing or if he’s gonna make things just worse. But in the end, he pressed the green button hoping that he was making the right decision.

His whole body tingled at the thought of hearing your voice again. He patiently waited.

How will you react to his call?

Will he hear your sleepy voice?

Maybe not everything is lost. Maybe that’s what you are waiting for, his actions.

No, he didn’t feel miserable. He felt hopeful.

But he waited in vain, after a few seconds of silence came a wave of hard realization.

You have blocked him.

It suddenly dawned on him how naive he had been for a moment. All the shreds of hope he had gathered during that quick moment were lost again. You were lost, and he knew he would never find you on his own. Now he felt like the night you broke up again. His little house of hope was destroyed in a matter of seconds. The first tear escaped his eye, and then hundreds of others escaped too.

He was fucked and he knew it.

------------

Tag list: @nightlockcornucopia, @she-lives-in-her-dreams, @sorceresski @m4k444 @mrs-dasilvasantoss

[bau-drabbles]

how about where hotch is toxic? (with his work) 👀 he doesn’t mean to be but it happens and the reader can’t take any more 🥺

i loved this :") thank you for asking baby <3 sorry its so rushed ☠

dangerous love

it was hard to see hotch lately. he didn't feel like him. physically, he was. but mentally emotionally, it just wasn't the man you adored. and you tried hard to look past it, understand him and try to love him but you weren't a priority to him anymore.

suddenly his work came before you, you were constantly on the back burner of every decision. he just didn't care for you like you did for him. and it horrible, to know he didn't hold you as close to his heart like you did with him. you could feel the love vanishing by the day

it was turning into a fight, like it always did. and he was getting irritated, like he always did. normally you'd try to be the voice of reason but it felt like the feelings were all trapped into you, ready to burst

"i don't care" you blurt out, stopping him in his tracks. he pauses, a brow raised at your outburst. and you remember all those wonderful characteristics that you hold so dear have vanished. all the things that made him, him were nowhere to be found. he was the unit head chief, not the man that you loved with the entirety of your heart

because looking, truly looking at hotch was looking at a man you didn't recognise anymore. he couldn't be yours, he was too cold. too cruel. this couldn't be what man you adored. he couldn't be this heartless. and you could've chalked it up to being a busy day, he was stressed inevitably he was going to lash out. but time and time again, surely you deserved better than to have a partner who refused to communicate. the fact remained that he was a dangerous love, one that you couldn't have. one that couldn't subject yourself to, hoping he would change his ways.

the heart has its own memory and you have forgotten nothing of how he treated you.

"what?" he snaps you out of your thoughts, hands deep within his pockets. his frown has deepened on his forehead, a look he usually reserved for strangers never for you. but the two were beginning to be undistinguishable.

"nothing" you tried to swallow these suffocating feelings, every couple had them. this was no different.

"it's clearly something" the way he speaks with passive aggressiveness, the way he's so cold with his words, it makes you boil with anger. and the next words leave your lips, spite and hatred practically dripping with them. for once the rose tinted glasses have shattered and have left you reeling with the truth, something you never could've anticipated.

"fine. you don't deserve love, hotch. you don't deserve anyones love. you don't know what the hell to do with it. you use them until it satisfies you and then you act like they don't exist. you don't deserve anyone. you deserve to rot in your office, surrounded by your paperwork and all alone. the only thing you've ever loved" and though every word felt like a stab to your heart, your mind had been clearer than it had been for a long time.

"wha-" "we're through hotch" the words you never imagined to ever say to this man have been spoken with a heavy heart. how desperately you yearned for things to have took a different route, for wracking your brains to find a solution to this problem.

only if he loved you as much as you loved him there wouldn't have been problems to this extent in the first place. you walk out of his office, ignoring his pleas for you to stay. ignoring how all the team were staring at you, shutting everything out until you reached your car. that's where you let the tears slip and run down your cheeks, gasping for air because deep down you begged him to fight for you. because yout thought he would

a loathing for him spiralled deep within you, how he could've out you through his all if he cared for you? if he loved you like he said he did?

and still after all that, you cared for his own heart more than yours. you could watch him for a minute and find a million things you loved about him. he was everywhere. in your veins, your dreams, in books, in your music. there was no use trying to forget him. for when the hour ticked midnight, there he would still be. running between the stillness of your soul and the pounding of your heart.

[hulhudhonado]

The Souvenir Dilemma

Note: Honestly I have been so busy and I have so many posts on the back burner, but I had this one in my thoughts so much I had to put it out before the feeling went. Basically a continuation of "The Clone Thesis" so read that before reading this. This might be a bit shorter than that one though. Enjoy.

CW: Angst, clones, experiments, drugs, Mention of self poisoning and harm, death of character, mild cursing

HC: Reader is gender-neutral, does not have a vision. Clones go by it pronouns.

Characters: Dottore, Dottore Clones, Mentions of Balladeer, Nahida (Buer) and Traveller

It was like a slideshow for Dottore, watching your memories from when you were a baby to your first dissection. He scrolled through them like they were a PowerPoint presentation he needed to get through before an exam that was starting in less than an hour.

Acquiring your memories was quite an easy task for him. He had his little trip to Sumeru to get both of the gnosis and not only did he get them but he was also able to mess around with the old tech he used back in the day for the fun of it. However, the trip was exhausting. Not only did he have to sacrifice his clones but he also had to build a robot for a puppet. It was almost comedic when you think about it. Either way, he believed he should have gotten a souvenir from the trip.

That was where your memories had come in. While the Traveller and Buer were busy messing around with a husk controlling a mecha, he was easily able to meet the tree and extract what he needed. Buer wouldn't mind, would she? Of course, she wouldn't, she wouldn't even notice it was missing. Buer only knew about his clones anyway, she never mentioned getting rid of any other clones that he had created.

Now here he was, watching your memories. All he needed to do now was program it into the clone's system, and you would be back in his life as if nothing happened. It was that simple, however, he remained unmoved. He couldn't believe himself, he doesn't like wasting time but here he was, replaying your memories front to back. What was holding him back? He had some theories but he didn't like the sound of any of them.

First, it was what you currently were. Right now you were completely reborn, everything is a new experience to you and shockingly Dottore himself had become one of your experiences of first love it seems. It was his mistake of creating a clone of you so hastily without all of your components in order. So right now you were madly in love with him. It wouldn't have been an issue, he could have just reset you or made another you. The problem was that he enjoyed the current you too much to do either.

The way you were so hopelessly obsessed with him and how you would melt just by the touch of his hands. Just to make sure you continued this way he made sure to program the rest of his clones to detest you so you would only have your eyes on him.

This led to the second issue, you detested clones, even though you were technically the one who first suggested the cloning thesis. Again another fault on his part for not taking into account the consequences of his unplanned actions. He programmed the clones too well. When he got back the excitement in your voice, talking about the clones being gone almost made him cringe. Putting your memories in now would mean you would know what you had become and he wasn't sure how you would react to it, since the current you were already smashing lab equipment daily.

The last issue was the previous you. While scrolling through the memories he always seemed to stop at one point. It was the only part he would let play through without skipping. The usually sped-up memory turned back to a normal pace and he watched as you looked up from the ground to face an annoyed-looking version of himself when he was younger. It was the first day you had met him.

---

Dottore, otherwise known as Zandik, at the time, was sneaking behind the Akademiya's nose to mess around with the ruin hunters in the mountain. Specifically, the giant abandoned one at Devantaka. He assumed he was being secretive enough. That was until he saw your face down on the ground writhing in pain.

He planned to sneak past you and continue his journey. That was until you grabbed onto his leg, murmuring about a cure in your bag. Unable to shake you off, begrudgingly Dottore helped you reach your bag where you shot down two bottles of unknown substances.

"Zandik right? The guy who got suspended for messing with ruin hunters? " You slurred out, chugging another one of the bottles. You reeked of chemicals and for once Dottore was disgusted by the smell of something so strong. "Since you're alive I am going to go on my way." Dottore ignored you, brushed himself off, trying not to express his disgust before turning away from you.

"Uhh wait hold on!" You say, finally being steady enough to get up and follow behind him. "I want to hear about your discoveries!" You excitedly shout out. Dottore sighed heavily. "Why? So you can report it to the Akademiya? Piss off, weirdo." He grumbled, still refusing to face you.

You rush forward to block his path, sticking a hand out to him. "You can call me whatever, I do not care, but I do care about knowledge and research, especially the forbidden ones. " Dottore looked down at your extended hand, which you wiggled a bit. "It's called a handshake. You take my hand with yours and then you shake it." You say, a grin on your face. Dottore could only scoff, slapping your hand away from him.

"I do not have time for this. I got better things to do." Dottore tried to go past you. "Oh I know, I see what you do almost every day." He stopped in his tracks, finally looking you properly in the eyes with a scowl. "What?" He hissed. He hated your face, still smiling like an idiot. "That's right, I see you almost every day going the same path, entering the ruin hunter, messing around with its system to activate its canon. I see it all. I, however, do not know what you are doing to keep it up and running and that's what I want to ask about. " Within seconds Dottore had pushed you against a tree, a knife to your neck.

"Oof! Hey don't be so rough!" You groan. Dottore wondered if you were drunk because of all of those chemicals you had consumed, either way, he had better things to worry about. He wasn't afraid of getting his hands dirty to upkeep his research, he wasn't going to let anyone get in the way of it. "Why are you following me? Are you one of those stupid spies they have to keep students in check?"

Imagine his surprise when you burst into giggles which slowly turned into full belly roaring laughter. The grip he had on you with the knife to your neck was not getting looser but you still kept laughing. He watched a slight cut graze on your neck because of it. 'Great, a crazy drunk knows about my project. Fucking great.' He groaned to himself.

"Don't worry don't worry! I ain't like that…" You settled your laughter, looking him in the eyes. He felt something click when you did, your eyes were not malicious or scared. You were excited, your eyes were shining in awe. Only someone insane would dare to look at him like that and it seemed the archons finally decided today was the day he would meet one. You continued speaking.

"…Actually, I'm also doing some illegal research." You grinned at him. His grip loosened on you due to curiosity, which let you drop down to go through the things in your backpack. You pulled out a notebook and more of the unusual bottles from it. "The area here is full of toxic mushrooms and fungi, almost all of them banned by the forest rangers to interact with and this rule was extended to the Akademiya. However I wasn't going to let them have all the fun for themselves, so I have been experimenting with it by myself and making cures for it."

You extended a bottle to Dottore, which he took. He swirled the bottle, watching the liquid glisten inside. Even without taking out the cork, he could smell the distinguishable chemical smell seeping out of it. No wonder you were on the floor when he first saw you, you were poisoning yourself. He looked back at you as you smiled at him. "If I continue this, I might make one that will make me immortal, which again is considered illegal under the Akademiya rules."

Dottore hummed in response, now intrigued. You stood up once more, brushing yourself off and once again extending a hand towards him. "Now, let's start over. Zandik, would you please tell me about the ruin hunters you have been activating?"

---

Dottore began to speed up the memories once more, he didn't plan on reliving his past. He already knew what was in store after that. How you guys almost blew up the Akademiya, how you guys sneaked into the forbidden records all the time and the first time you showed him your Cloning thesis. It was history for him which he refused to re-live.

However that was the issue, you in the memories even though you did insane things alongside him, slowly began to change. He left the Akademiya, you didn't. Your morals remained the same as before but you always refused to experiment on others, which lead to you being the one that dealt with all the experiments you wanted to do.

Dottore was certain that would be the cause of your death. Imagine his surprise when he found you had died in an accident during a storm in the desert. At that point, he was already in the Fatui and you both were slowly drifting apart, your motives too different from one another. He was certain your death would not effect him but something inside him just snapped when he found out, which lead to this entire mess.

If he put these same memories into you now, he didn't know what you would do or how you would react. You wouldn't be the doe-eyed person in love with him and for some reason, he couldn't handle that thought. So here he was once again, flipping through the memories one by one before stopping at the memory of how you both met, continuing the cycle almost like a mantra but in this situation, it was not calming him down or make him think rationally.

For once, he has stuck in making a decision and he would have continued to stay in that trance, that was until he heard footsteps nearby. He shut off the memories being displayed, reverting it into an orb, almost the size of a tablet, and putting it into his coat.

You stuck your head into the room, beaming when you see him inside. You make your way in, enveloping him in a hug which he responded with a pat on your head. "You alright? You don't look so good." You say, looking at his face. All Dottore could do was sigh. "It's just my face." He patted you once more as you continued to hug him with no plans of letting go.

He decided he was going to deal with this another day. Until then, he tried to enjoy the cold embraces you gave. He just wished for once it was as warm as the handshake you had given him in the past.

[rolaplayor101]

After searching about, I've found others who've had and thought about the same issue that I did, which is that the Kingdom Hearts fandom has a HUGE amatonormativity problem. Which, yeah, most fandoms do, but the difference here is that the KH fandom is pretty small, which makes it way more prevalent.

There's a good amount of people who think Sora is aroace, grayromantic, or alloromantic asexual, but they keep it to themselves for risk of being harassed by shippers. They have to protect themselves with "aphobes DNI" on the few posts they do post about it. They have to continuously reblog their own art or go to a confession blog to lament about it.

And it's sad! This is saddening! And the thing is, I do ship SoRiKai. At least the minimum amount, enough to be fully invested in what's going on in canon. Because, canonically? They do care about each other intensely enough to usually go beyond the bounds of typical friendship. Especially Sora. The way he thinks, the things he does, it's all so grandeur in comparison to the things people do in real life for their friends. He flat out says he wants to be with Riku and Kairi forever in one of the first games.

The problem is that people still think being aroace means being apothi and aplatonic, but that's not the case. Sora feels platonic attraction so quickly, frequently, and intensely that it even puts off new characters he meets in the game. He's affectionate, uplifting, and confident(most of the time). But people can't see aroace people as a whole as anything but negative and loveless. Which is just plain not the case for all of us. Aspec people post about the different ways aspec people think all the time! It's mostly the only thing in the aromantic and asexual tags, and I frequent those a lot! So I'd know!

This is an issue thats brought up over and over and over again, and it's that being aroace-- feeling exactly zero romantic or sexual attraction-- does not mean you also feel zero platonic or queerplatonic (or sensual or alterous or any tertiary) attraction. It does not mean you can't feel attraction that is just as intense as allos feel romantic or sexual attraction. Sora has always attributed his strength and confidence to his friends, to his heart that belongs to all of his friends. He feels platonic attraction so intensely that it literally powers him up. It's the main theme of the entire Kingdom Hearts franchise.

Saying that Sora feels queerplatonic attraction towards Riku and Kairi does not mean he'd feel any less than if he were romantically and/or sexually attracted to them.

Thinking that queerplatonic and/or platonic attraction is less than romantic and/or sexual attraction is incorrect, aphobic, amatonormative, and exactly contrary to what Kingdom Hearts the franchise is partially trying to do.

Kingdom Hearts normalizes healthy, platonic, life-long relationships, which wasn't well represented in the early 2000s. Most media represented friendships as on the back burner, especially when pit against romantic relationships. Affectionate arospecs watched shows and movies when they were younger seeing the main character dismiss their friends, grow out of them, or outright hate them, and then have their problems be solved by a romantic partner. Toxic or unhealthy friendships (and also sibling relationships) were the norm, so having Kingdom Hearts, and a few other media I can't think of right now, be made where there's no romance outside of background characters and established ones fron Disney Movies, and where friendship is treated as equal and as the most important, was revolutionary.

Tons of Shounen anime do this, too. Bleach, Full Metal Alchemist, Hero Academia, most sports anime. Then there's other stuff like most magical girl anime, Soul Eater, Little Witch Academia, Promised Neverland, Lucky Star, Baccano, most Miyazaki movies. A lot of popular anime are popular because people love the friendships between characters. And I bet most people in Kingdom Hearts love it specifically because of the friendships too. They like that they're friends. Because their friendships are wholesome, and healthy, and good. They make us feel good. KH isn't "Queerbaiting"(which is only ever brought up for mlm ships and never for aspecs or wlw) for having Riku and Sora care about each other and get along. Just because pop culture has forced f/m relationships start specifically because a girl and a boy get along(if even that happens), doesn't mean that all characters in all media that get along are romantically into each other. Both of those are bad and thinking that its not is a double standard. Platonic chemistry and romantic chemistry are not the same (even if pop culture media continue to try and make it seem like they are). But so many posts trying to prove Sora is actually canonically secretly in romantic love with Riku and Kairi only have evidence of him just being his regular old self, doing things he canonically sees as platonic-- things that are platonic.

It's not an issue of people headcanoning Sora with romantic/sexual attraction (or otherwise) for the other characters, it's about the harassing of other people that it's canon and the blatant aphobia and amatonormativity. All that's canon right now is that Sora cares about his friends, which includes Riku and Kairi, and the fact that I got so much negativity back for saying he's aroace and feels queerplatonic attraction for them only proves that some people in this fandom think aroace people can't care about anyone strictly because they don't feel romantic or sexual attraction. The aphobia in the fandom needs to be addressed, and the aspec content should be allowed to be post freely without push back.

TLDR; Once the main Kingdom Hearts fandom stops seeing every little interaction between certain characters as canonically romantic, it'll finally be a more open and healthy community that people won't be afraid to engage in.

I want this to be helpful to read and for someone to learn something. And if aphobia shows up again, maybe take that person to the side and say that's not cool? Defend us aspecs, please? Cause all that..really makes me feel bad about and put off Kingdom Hearts completely. (And again! I ship SoRiKai! But people that don't ship it shouldn't have to go through this either!)

[writingsofwesteros]

https://www.tumblr.com/jennifersminds/710024396974194688/jennifersminds-favourite-ships-of-all-time?source=share

Jaime with him and Cersei's younger sister who was born the year before Tyrion. They never had many problems, but Cersei would be cruel at times and accuse her of weakening their mother before Tyrion went in for the kill. Cersei has always wanted her but knew that with her being the one to make the first move she would have to share their sister with her twin, something she didn't like the thought of as she was possessive over him. Cersei knew leaving her lust on the back burner would make it where the siblings would have to seek each other out, something she never thought would happen as she never anticipated Jaime making a move like that with all the shame he carries from their relationship. The first gif is moments leading up to Jaime railing his younger sister's brains out. A friendly spar turned almost violent when the girl tripped him up by asking if this is what him and Cersei do in their free time or if they just fuck when they think no one is watching or notices. He gets defensive and threatens to kill her to keep her silent though they both knew he was lying, only for it to work against him when his eyes trail down her breasts that had nearly popped out from their fluid motions. He feels her body melt against his though his knife is letting small pools of crimson drop from her thoat and can't help but trail kisses down until he's lapping them up and rubbing his boner into her ass. Their first time does nothing to help his guilty conscience and instead adds to it, the things they did with such a passion and no care for what comes after put his nights with Cersei to shame and worsened his complex. He's so tender towards her after they finish and the following week, treating her almost as if she's a child or a pregnant woman, but the new distance between them is what really peaks Cersei's interest and clues her in on what was really happening. She's angry but keeps her distance and tries to keep Jaime with her at all times until one day he's just gone and she can't find him anywhere until she stumbles into her sister's normal maid and orders her to bring her to the girl. The maid was blushing and tried refusing until Cersei threatened her again, only to slowly guide the lioness to the servant corridors, her body trembling with every step. She refuses to say anything more once they reach a certain door and turns around to face Cersei with an almost horrified expression before rushing back the way she came. Cersei plans to punish her later until her curiosity grows and she pushes to door open, her eyes being met with the sight of her once "innocent" sister practically begging for Jaime to cum inside her while she rides him. Her rage grows when she sees how his cum has already flooded her insides since the thick cream was splashing out with every wanton thrust of her hips and the loving way their foreheads were touching, Jaime's arms hugging their sister to him the way only a man truly in love would. 👑💀

ALL OF THIS !! Cersei so enjoys watching, there's no question about it ;)

Jaime has problems but is so hot about it.

[localgardenweed]

Okay I did @vyo96’s HWS Japan map thingy and this is a perfect time to roughly explain my characterization of my baby girl

Now look imma admit he fucks, he can fuck and will fuck but thats a story for another day, preferably December 20th 2024 but we’ll get there when we get there. In short just give him his viagra hes still got it in him

Anyway i like to say he’s a little fucked up in the head and just so done with everything around him that he can only put on a plain face and keep trudging through till he kicks the bucket. The curse of immortality has left him a little fucked up, wondering when it’ll all be over, sometimes wishing he was just plain mortal and not stuck waiting for his country to fall apart. He loves his people but sometimes wishes he didn’t have to be a personified country and just a normal human along side them cause he feels lile he can do more for them as human since him and all the other countries are under the thumb of their governments half the time

I want to say that he wants people to think he’s more in up in the “just a little fella” section cause like he doesn’t want people to know he’s popping his pills, that’s embarrassing!! He just buries his feelings deep down so no one can see them until his friends pull up and hold him down and operate the feelings out of him.

His personality isnt that much different from his canon version but i like to think he is definitely more expressive and idk but emotional??? When he’s by himself like, in the comfort of his own home he’ll let out a big loud laugh over a meme but in public he’ll just smile and say “that was funny”. He thinks way too much about how he looks he looks in public its a problem. He actually has some wit and really sarcastic when he wants to be. He can also be really scary but he doesn’t like showing that side too much so he just kinda keeps it in the back burner.

He’s definitely very self sufficient i mean he’s had like 2000ish years to live and grow bro practically picked up everything as a hobby at least once. He’s made a schedule which he has been keeping pretty much the same throughout the years, only really changes if big like advancements are made like he used to go to the store once a month to rent VHS and had planned days to go return them all but now he just either streams it or has bought all the VHS and DVD he wanted and plays them at home.

He can be very affectionate if he wants to but feels cringe when he does it in public so mostly keeps it all in. But if he had his way he would smother his s/o in gifts and kisses and loving pets and be at their knees wondering if they need anything. Thats mostly at home though in public he just holds pinkies. With his close friends (mostly just Italy, Germany and Prussia) he opens up more a little baby bit, he actually shows some emotion and lets out more of his personality!! Oh my god!!!! He actually…shares his actual opinion/concern?!? He feels more comfortable with letting them see his real feelings and they like seeing it too cause they were getting concerned that he just nodded along to almost everything when it was smth they definitely should not have been doing.

Anyway best character deserves more respect he is the light of my life and i hold him very dear to me. I wish i could like talk about him more but trying to write this was hard as hell cause i cant always express my feelings with words im better at talking than writing. I tried to get some of my like speaking and form of talking into this but some areas could use work.

If any other hetalia japan lovers wanna speak their truth speak it and we can come together and have a meeting and talk about him

[emptywriter95]

Cara lets her eyes stray to the cracks embedded in the aging cement sidewalk as her legs carry her to Jules's house. The cool morning wind moved around her, carrying the scent of the morning dew with it as partly dried leaves fell from the treetops. Her eyes move to stalk the sight of the run-down homes on either side of the street. Not run down in a purposeful way, she thinks to herself. It’s just that the tenants have most likely aged, and the upkeep is out of their grasp. Town number four, she counts. She can’t remember the homes from when she was younger, but her mom has mentioned them once or twice before.

Her mom and dad put themselves and their personal world first. Leaving her younger brother, Jude, and herself on the back burner. The ruthless wind whipped her long, chocolate-brown hair around her neck. She was quick to pull it back, tossing it over her shoulder. She breaths deeply through her nose as she walks to her friends, the wind may be cool but the air is earthy and warm. They’ve been living here for about two months now, and the summer is almost over. It’s almost time to start another new school, the thought crosses her mind. She’s never had a problem making new friends. As a bonus, she’s not starting halfway through the school year. This time, she gets to start fresh, along with a new friend, which is a welcome change. Unfortunately, it doesn’t come as easy for her brother. Jude’s lucky if he can make one close friend, although if you ask him, he has plenty of friends. They’re just inside the computer in a world called Runescape. He has the same chocolate hair as his sister, which lies shaggy around his ears. He also has stunning dark brown eyes to match. He was lucky to inherit from their mom. Cara was given her dad's green eyes. She thinks about the last time she saw her mom, two days ago. Bragging on the phone to a friend, if you can call the users, she surrounds herself with friends about how grown up she is. How can she take care of herself and her brother? No problem, she laughed. Cara sighed. She was sick of her mom taking the credit for her independence. Although it is her fault, she’s this way, just not in the way she brags about. The early dew drops sparkle at her on every blade of the tall grass covering the yards. The sky is still a light, soothing grey. Cara knew her mom was home safe in her bed when she left the house. She hadn’t heard her come home last night, but she saw her long black leather jacket hanging next to the screen door on her way out. Her little brother always hears her come in. He stays up all night gaming in the den. He stopped questioning their mom about where she’s been long ago, she would only dodge him with weird answers. Cara knows he can sense that something is wrong with her. He knows something isn’t right with their mom, but unlike his older sister, he hasn’t had the maturity to crack the code yet. Whenever Cara needed to make new friends she always gravitated toward other kids with dysfunctional families. It's not a difficult thing to find in common at any given rural school. It was simple. For every happy kid with two normal parents, is another ten kids, with at one parent who drinks too much or one dealing with an addiction of their own choosing. It just made sense to hang out with kids like herself, no curfews, no one to care where you go or what you’re doing around town. Last year, she pieced together what was causing her parents heated fights that would cause her mom to vanish for days on her own. Leaving her and Jude to fend for themselves, get to school on time, and make their own dinners. It was the one morning that replayed in her mind often. A normal morning before school, She was out of clean socks, so she burst into her mom's empty room and rummaged around her sock drawer, looking for a pair without holes. Only to find two small glass pipes. The bottom of the thin glass burned a brown-black color. Empty baggies skewed underneath the thick winter socks neatly stacked in the back of the drawer. That’s when it all came together for her. Her mom's weird friends, the mood swings, not being home for days at a time, and the constant blowouts with her dad kept getting worse. It wasn't long after that she became more curious and found her dad’s coke he had stashed in the console of his work truck, which she wasn’t supposed to be in. She shakes her head, not in the mood for the replay. She keeps walking and tightens her arms around her faded black Hurley sweater. She walks another block and then crosses the road to the right side of the shady street.

[crumbleclub]

Anyway informing you that 1. Ur posts are so incredible and good and they're a treasure to see i prommy, and 2. Ur ficlet for dream theory revamp au is taking up rental space in my head. Having silly thoughts about Evan just acting completely dead after he learns the truth about henry. He doesn't play anymore. Doesn't talk. He can't even work up the energy to be Super Nice To Mike So He Doesn't Want To Die Again like he's been doing for all the time Mike has been back. Mike definitely notices, but whether he feels comfortable/capable enough of confronting Evan about it is up in the air. Oooo, or, or maybe Evan leans even *further* into the Be Super Nice To Mike So He Doesn't Want To Die thing bc he's lost Henry and Mike is the only thing Evan has left

AWWW POOR BB

From my perspective (since it's ur au lol):

Mike would be so weirded out by seeing his brother stop playing and talking, but I doubt he'd know what to say. He wouldn't guess that it was about Henry, and, since it wasn't immediately after his attempt, he wouldn't associate those things together, either. He might wonder if something else happened that he didn't know about– William being rougher with Evan since Mike was still healing physically, maybe, or some unrelated problem his anxiety could conjure up– and one thing my Michael will always be is nosy. Like, this is a situation where it's actually somewhat helpful– one should look into it if their little brother shows a clear trauma response, obviously– but he's nosy in every other situation, too.

Rather than ask what's up like a normal person, he'd probably start paying way more attention to Evan (and William, and everyone else Evan interacts with)'s behavior to figure it out. He might try to ask in very roundabout ways if he couldn't find anything elsewhere, but he'd try not to let it look like concern for Evan.

(That's not a conscious decision, or even related to his abuse of Evan or any resentment he might still hold; it's a completely unrelated conditioned response that mostly relates back to the whole incident with William using a dog as a lure and getting pissed when Mike tries to interrupt.)

The first response, Evan losing the will to be extra nice, could be percieved by Mike as either an extension of the trauma response Evan seems to be having that he can't figure out the cause of– which would drive him to investigate further– or as things starting to go back to normal, where Evan has a justified fear of his brother and they don't really talk much.

It would make him sad, though, which he wouldn't be expecting. He might have to examine either the fact that he does need some affection in his life to feel okay– which is typical– or the fact that he might, shocker, actually want to have a decent relationship with his little brother. Both of these things would be a pretty arduous process for him; he's emotionally immature, even for as young as he is, and this sort of thing isn't something he's had any guidance on. He would probably throw himself into something else whilst processing that on the back burner.

The second one– being even nicer– would be more surprising to him, because he's really just not seen that level of nice before? If Evan got too clingy, Mike wouldn't be able to hide his annoyance, and he might snap from time to time, even though he's had half a wake up call at this point about his own behavior– near death experiences make people reevaluate shit a lot, but he's not like. Magically well-adjusted– and doesn't have the energy to be all that terrible at the moment. That being said– even though Mike is really needing a mentor more for this than his little brother's kindness– this is one of the most vulnerable places he's ever been, and, if anyone were to ever successfully find a shortcut to breaking through Mike's defenses by the sheer force of being nice, this would be one of the easier times to try it.

On the bright side, Mike does not struggle with leaning on one person too much, so Evan wouldn't get stuck in a therapist role or anything. Probably the worst case scenario for his response to the second one would be having Mike start to answer any questions candidly, and receiving a bleaker view of the world in response.

[yllzchair]

Canon Divergent AU

Title: Yearning for Miles

Tags: Alternative Universe – Canon Divergent // Seeing the Future // Alternative Universe – Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies // Fix-It // Good Brothers JC/WWX // Canon-Typical Homophobia // Mutual Pining // Angst with Happy Ending // Multiple Couples

Rating: Mature

Summary: Wei Wuxian finds a strange artefact while he’s studying in Gusu. Apparently it shows the future.

Word Count: 378,976

Status: Completed.

Title: Yarrow Stalks

Tags: Post-Canon // Politics // Canon-Typical Violence // Shapeshifting // Body Horror // Light Angst // Hurt/Comfort // Angst with Happy Ending // Domestic // Mystery // Pining // Sexual Assault

Rating: Mature

Summary: The problem began with a roll of the dice...Two years have passed since Jin Guangyao's disgrace and the vindication of the Yiling Patriarch rocked the cultivation world. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have built a life together, and the world has settled into what they are finally happy to call normal. But a mysterious shapeshifter's attacks and a dangerous conspiracy threaten not only their lives but the lives of many others, in this tale of romance, politics, and sand where games of chance and games of skill are not so different as the players would like.

Word Count: 76,670

Status: Completed.

Title: Wish I could forget the taste of your skin and the feel of your hands pinning me down

Tags: Alternative Universe – Canon Divergence // Alternative Universe – Modern Setting // Getting Back Together // BAMF Wei Ying // Modern Cultivator AU // Case Fic // Top Lan Zhan/Bottom Wei Ying // Novel Canon-Relationship Dynamics

Rating: Explict

Summary: Wei Wuxian would like to think that - if he had known that Lan Wangji would walk out of his life immediately after they hooked up- he wouldn’t have given into his ridiculous attraction for the man. He wished he were better at lying to himself. Guest-starring Lan Wangji’s canonically poor communication choices after romantic cave encounters

Word Count: 63,222

Status: Completed.

Title: Stunted, Starving Juvenility

Tags: Alternate Universe – Canon Divergent // Cloud Recesses Study Arc // Getting Together // Sexual Tension // Supportive Lan Qiren // Light Angst // Internalised Homophobia // First Kiss // Kink Discovery // Bisexual WWX // Dual Cultivation // Not JFM Friendly // Slowburn // Emotional/Psychological Abuse // Fluff and Angst // Protective LXC // Eventual Smut // Cultivation Sect Politics // Genuis WWX // Angst and Hurt/Comfort // Minor Character Death(s) // Pre-Sunshot Campaign // POV Wei Ying

Rating: Explicit

Summary: At sixteen Wei Wuxian is—through some strange twist of fate, or a nick in the layer between parallel universes, who knows—out of the blue confronted with that one incense burner dream one night.

While his curious mind is left unable to stop poking at this new perspective on Lan Wangji, circumstances in the Cloud Recesses begin to change and Wei Wuxian is suddenly presented with life-altering opportunities.

Maybe Gusu isn’t so bad after all? (Or alternatively: The fic where I get to give Wei Wuxian the academic scholarship he deserves while simultaneously getting him hitched early on.)

Word Count: 712,733

Status: Ongoing.

Title: Who Protects The Shadow Better Than The Dark

Tags: Alternative Universe – Canon Divergent // Alternative Universe – Modern Setting // Lan Elders // Cults // Blood and Injury // Blood and Gore // Graphic Depictions of Corpses // Graphic Depictions of Everything // Body Horror // Original Mythology // Angst with Happy Ending // Slowburn

Rating: Mature // Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Summary: Lan Zhan has always seen the shadows; he's not dumb or blind, just wary of his own sanity. He's not going to stop living his life just because someone new shows up and flips everything upside down. Literally. There's nothing to be afraid of when you close your eyes except your own imagination. And if the shadows have started to see him back, what's he supposed to do? They're not real anyway. This is the story of wilful ignorance, physical manifestations of your worst nightmares, and a plot to destroy the world.

Word Count: 67,111

Status: Completed.

Title: Whipstitch

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence // Dysfunctional Family // Torture //  Wèi Yīng Lives, but basically no one else // Case Fic // Cultivation Sect Politics // Past Abuse // Wèi Yīng Whump // Yiling Laozu Wèi Yīng // Jīn Líng Needs a Hug // Yunmeng Shuangjie // Yunmeng Bro Reconciliation // Past Character Death // Body Horror // Non-Consensual Body Modification // POV Jīn Líng // POV Lan Yuan // Flashbacks // Eventual Happy Ending // Heavy Angst // Suicide Attempt // Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD // Depression // Not A Fix-It //Mouth Sewn Shut

Rating: Mature // Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Summary: There is a house where no one goes.

Word Count: 131,383

Status: Completed.